Khao stood in the shower, warm water cascading down like a waterfall, slowly melting away the chill in his heart. He took the bar of soap and a loofah, scrubbing roughly at his skin as if he could wash away the lingering traces of First's kisses and touches.
Each stroke felt like a futile attempt to rid himself of the feelings that made him feel dirty. The scent of First's cologne clung to his skin, a constant reminder of their encounter. He could smell it, musky and overpowering, mixing with the soap and water.
Whatever had happened between him and First was never supposed to happen; only Podd was meant to evoke that kind of euphoria.
As the water poured over him, Khao's thoughts turned to his friends, family, and Podd. What would they think if they ever found out he was selling his body for a softer life? It felt wrong, selfish even. He knew he wasn't the only one struggling–his friends were fighting their own battles too. But Khao had chosen the easier path, a shortcut that led him to a place he never intended to go.
He felt a sticky residue on his skin, a physical reminder of First's presence. Semen, still lingering on his body, a tangible symbol of his transgression. Khao's scrubbing grew more frantic, as if he could erase the evidence of his infidelity.
He inhaled deeply, steam filling the air, but it did little to ease the guilt gnawing at him. Each breath reminded him of the weight of his choices.
Khao shut his eyes, trying to block out the memories, the night he had shared with First. The warmth of the water couldn't cleanse the shame he felt.
As he finished rinsing off, Khao leaned against the cool tile wall, the warm water contrasting sharply with the turmoil inside him. He wished he could turn back time, to the moments before he had crossed that line. But those thoughts were just wishful thinking, and he couldn't escape the reality of what he had done.
He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. The mirror fogged up, reflecting a blurry image of himself. Khao wiped it clean, staring at his own eyes, searching for some semblance of clarity. Guilt and shame were all he found, clinging to him like a shadow.
Later, Khao lay in bed, his body exhausted but his mind racing. Tears streamed down his face, a silent lament for the choices he'd made. Sleep eluded him, punctuated by fits of crying. The darkness seemed to swallow him whole, a reflection of the emptiness within.
In the rare moments of sleep, his dreams were haunted by First's touch, Podd's loving smile, and the weight of his secrets.
◑◑◑
Khao woke up to the mouthwatering smell of freshly baked pancakes. He grinned—pancakes were his absolute favorite. Had the butler whipped them up for him? That would definitely make his day.
He swung his legs out of bed, but a sharp pain shot through his lower back. "Fuck!" he cursed, rubbing his backside. Ignoring the discomfort, he limped to the bathroom, showered, and threw on some comfy clothes—soft shorts and a long t-shirt, paired with slippers.
With the house filled with calming music, he made his way downstairs. His stomach was rumbling louder than a thunderstorm, and he felt thirstier than a fish out of water.
As he entered the kitchen, he was surprised to see First wearing a green apron over his bare chest, making the pancakes he’d been smelling.
Khao felt a flutter in his stomach when he caught sight of First's half-exposed nipple. First's hair was a bit tousled, and Khao noticed some scratch marks on his back. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt.
"Good morning, Khao. I made you breakfast," First said, his tone surprisingly polite.
Khao blinked, trying to wrap his head around it. "Oh, really? Thanks!" he replied, and First guided him to the dining table, even pulling out a chair for him. Khao almost laughed—was this a new side of First?
