Hidden Love | KaiRain

CHAPTER 4:

KAI's Point of View

I walked through the hallways, my thoughts scattered and my heart heavy. Every step felt like it was dragging me farther from the truth I refused to face. I had been avoiding Rain for days, not because I wanted to, but because I was scared. I could still feel the weight of that last hangout, the one where everything changed.

It was supposed to be just another casual afternoon, a quiet hangout like we always had. But something felt different that day. Maybe I was different, and I almost ruined everything.

I almost confessed. I almost told her that what I felt for her was more than just friendship, that I cared for her in a way I wasn’t ready to admit. But I chickened out at the last second. When the words were on the tip of my tongue, I froze. The fear hit me like a wave, and I couldn’t breathe. What if she didn’t feel the same way? What if I ruined the one constant I had in my life? I couldn’t risk it. So, I just… stayed quiet.

But I felt the gap between us grow after that. I saw the confusion in Rain’s eyes every time she looked at me. I could feel the distance, and the worst part? I was the one putting it there.

I avoided her like the plague after that. It was easier that way, right? If I just kept my distance, maybe the feelings would go away. But they didn’t. They only grew stronger, and the guilt kept eating at me.

I knew Rain felt the change too. She was quieter around me now, more reserved. Every time we crossed paths, she wouldn’t meet my eyes. I could feel the hurt in her gaze, even if she didn’t say anything. She probably had questions. Why had I suddenly become so distant? Why had I pulled away?

But I didn’t know how to explain. How could I tell her that I was terrified of ruining everything? How could I confess to her when I didn’t even understand what was happening to me?

I found myself wandering the campus, my mind racing. I didn’t even realize where I was going until I saw Fyang waiting near the student lounge. She didn’t even look surprised to see me.

“Bakla ka talaga, alam ko na may problema kayo ni Rain” Fyang said, arms crossed as she stared at me. “Ano na? Ganyan ka na ba, haunted? I mean, hindi na ba talaga maayos tong kung ano man yang problema niyo?”

I sighed, leaning against the wall. “Honestly, Fyang, ang gulo ng utak ko. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ‘yung tama. Ang dami kong iniisip, tapos… I don’t know if I’m making things worse.”

Fyang raised an eyebrow, her gaze softening. “Okay, spill, bes. Ang tagal na ng mga feels na ‘to. What’s really going on? I mean, it’s pretty obvious na ‘di mo na kayang magtago.”

I dropped my head, feeling a weight on my chest. “I tried. Ang hirap kasi. I almost told her how I feel, but I froze. I’m scared na baka hindi siya pareho. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if mawala na kami dahil sa one mistake ko lang? What if by just my confession, I change everything between us?

“Girl, relax lang,” Fyang said, her voice calm but firm. “It’s okay to feel scared, but don’t let fear control you. I get that you’re afraid, pero you’re already changing things by not doing anything and by not noticing her. Alam mo ‘yan, di ba?”