Hidden Love | KaiRain

CHAPTER 5:

KAI's Point of View

The days stretched on, blending into one long, dull ache. Everywhere I went, it was the same: Rain and Therese, shoulder to shoulder, sharing secrets I used to be a part of. I became like a shadow—always watching but never seen.

It was a cruel joke, really. Therese wasn’t just close to Rain n ow. She was everywhere. Whenever I thought I’d find a quiet moment alone with Rain, Therese would be there, laughing, her voice somehow always louder, always brighter. Rain’s gaze, the one that used to linger on me, was now on her. It felt like a spotlight had turned on them, and I was left in the dim, barely existing in the periphery of her life.

Their like glued to each other. They can't be separated. Kahit na may pupuntahan Yung isa, nandoon din Yung isa. That is supposed to be me.

I tried not to linger on my jealousy, but it clung to me, tightening every time I saw them together. It was like some dark fog that followed me, whispering reminders of how easily I’d let everything slip away.

One afternoon, I found myself hiding in the back corner of the library, pretending to read while I watched them from afar. They were seated by the big window, sunlight pouring over them in that warm, golden way that made everything look soft and unreal. Rain was animated, gesturing wildly as she spoke, and Therese laughed, her hand lightly touching Rain’s arm. I felt my heart twist, and I had to look away.

“Why can’t I just tell her?” I mumbled under my breath, gripping the edge of my book so hard my fingers ached. I thought of all the times I’d wanted to open up, to say something. I could almost hear my own voice saying it, soft but steady, breaking through all the confusion: “I like you, Rain. I like you more than I should. I like you in a way that scares me, in a way I never knew I could."

But then I’d remember the risks, the potential fallout. My heart would race, and I’d convince myself all over again to keep quiet. I couldn’t bear the thought of her rejecting me, of watching her laugh it off or, worse, watching our friendship dissolve into awkward, broken pieces.

Just then, her voice echoed through the shelves, pulling me back. I peered around a stack of books, and there she was, smiling at Therese. They’d left their table and were walking toward the exit now, talking about some random class assignment, completely oblivious to the way my heart was breaking right there behind the library shelves.

As they walked past me, I caught bits and pieces of their conversation.

“So, what are you doing this weekend?” Therese asked, her tone casual but with an edge of curiosity.

Rain shrugged, her smile soft. “Not sure yet. But I’d love to go to that new café you mentioned. Sounds cute!”

“Perfect!” Therese’s eyes sparkled. “I was hoping you’d say yes. It’s a date, then?”

My stomach dropped. A date? They were going on a date? A tiny laugh bubbled up in my chest, hollow and pained. Of course, they were. Why wouldn’t they? Therese was everything I wasn’t—confident, open, unafraid to make a move. While I lingered in the shadows, she was stepping forward, making Rain laugh and feel special in ways I had only ever dreamed of.

I stayed frozen, the library around me eerily silent as they disappeared through the doors, leaving me in a mess of my own tangled emotions. I sank back against the shelves, staring at the ground, as if it could give me answers. What are you waiting for, Kai? The question echoed through my mind, taunting me.

Days went by, and it didn’t get easier. Rain and Therese were together more often now. It was becoming obvious to everyone around us, the way they were always together, and I was the last one to catch on. I’d walk into the cafeteria or the courtyard, and they’d be there, deep in conversation, their heads bent close, like nothing else mattered.

And maybe to Rain, nothing else did.

“Stupid,” I whispered to myself. “This is all on me.” I had no one else to blame but myself. I’d been too afraid to tell Rain how I felt, and now she was drifting toward someone else.

One evening, I found myself by the soccer field, watching as the sky turned orange and pink. The field was deserted, the air calm. I thought about how it used to be, back when it was just Rain and me. Back before all the unspoken feelings and fear got in the way. Those simple days felt like a distant memory, something I’d let slip through my fingers.

Just then, I felt a buzz in my pocket. A text from Fyang.

{Hey, nakita mo na ba? Si Rain and Therese lagi na daw magkasama. Ano ba talagang balak mo, girl? You can’t just let her go nang ganun lang.}

I stared at the message, her words hitting too close to home. She was right—I couldn’t just let her go. But I also couldn’t bring myself to hold on, not with all the doubt and fear twisting inside me. Still, I knew I had to make a choice. Staying silent wasn’t going to work anymore.

{I don't know anymore Fyang, I want to confess but at the same time I feel like there is a wall between us and… I know, I built that wall brick by brick.}

The next day, I walked down the hallway, heading toward the courtyard, determined to talk to her. But when I got there, I froze. Rain was sitting under the big oak tree, a smile on her face as she laughed at something Therese was saying. They looked… happy, like there was no gap between them, like they belonged together.

I stayed there, hidden behind the corner, my chest aching as I watched them. There it was again, that shadow of jealousy twisting inside me, filling every corner of my heart with bitter regrets. For a moment, I imagined walking over, interrupting their laughter, pulling Rainah aside and finally telling her the truth. But the words caught in my throat, and I stayed where I was, watching, waiting—paralyzed by the same fear that had kept me silent for so long.

The final bell rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. I turned to leave, each step feeling heavier than the last. I wasn’t ready, and maybe I’d never be ready. But I couldn’t keep going like this, watching from the shadows as Rain’s life moved on without me.

I took a deep breath, a new resolve forming in my chest. I was done hiding. Tomorrow, I’d talk to her, no matter how scared I was. Rain deserved the truth, and maybe… just maybe, I deserved a chance to be happy too.

As I walked away, one thought lingered in my mind, clear and strong: I can’t let her slip away, not like this. Not without a fight.

WORDS: 1197

Author's Note: Hope you enjoy the double update this day hehehe