Effortless

Thirty-four

It unfortunately wasn't long of a drive back to the school, every bone in my body wanted to be anywhere but here. It wasn't even because people would know where we were coming from, Principal Montgomery wasn't going to announce what we placed until tomorrow morning so I could try to pretend like the entire competition never happened until then. It was just that after everything that had happened in the last hour the last thing I wanted to do was interact with anyone. I looked like a wreck; my eyes were red and my face was flushed. That was not generally the best combination when having to be around others.

Once Javier parked his car he didn't immediately get out. Instead, he left the car on and sat with me. Neither of us said a word. He reached over then took my hand and rubbed small circles on the back of it continuously. I did not have to tell him that I did not want to go. He could see that himself and was willing to wait with me. His kindness wanted to make me cry all over again.

But we were required to go back in or else it would be counted as skipping. So as much as I wanted to, we couldn't sit in the parking lot forever.

"We have to go inside."

"Eventually." He was still holding my hand. "But I'll wait with you as long as you want me to."

I smiled for the first time that day as I whispered, "Then we'd be sitting out here forever."

Javi returned the smile as he reluctantly turned the car off. It was obvious that he did not want to leave as well but skipping was not a smart idea for either of us. We took our time walking into the building, prolonging the inevitable. Once inside, Javi walked with me to my class despite his being in the opposite direction. I told him multiple times to go but he insisted that he follow me. 

We stood in front of the door to the classroom. I was not reaching for the doorknob and he was not making a move to walk away and our gazes lingered on each other in the empty hallway. Neither of us wanted to leave.

"Sit with me in the cafeteria?" I asked. "Please?"

"Sure." He agreed without hesitation.

Once a teacher appeared in the empty hallway we knew we needed to part ways before we got reprimanded. Class was boring and irrelevant. I hadn't missed anything that I couldn't easily make up since I hadn't missed much class in general.

Javi and Paxton sat with us during lunch and it was great. It was clear that my friends liked both of them, not that I had any doubt that they would. Javier sat next to me and I knew that it wasn't a big deal but it certainly felt like it was.

Kailey asked us about the competition. I was hoping none of them would bring it up but it was naive of me to think that they wouldn't be curious. Javier answered for the both of us by saying that it was more difficult than we thought it would be and the whole table was surprised at our fifth place. I sat silently while Javi talked about it because I did not have anything positive to say.

Javier must have been able to sense my discomfort because I felt his hand touch my thigh. I jumped at the sudden contact but it wasn't noticeable to anyone but Javi. He had been trying to find my hand without looking underneath the table so he ended up touching my thigh by accident. He leaned back a little so that he could see but without drawing a bunch of attention to himself. Once I felt his fingers touch mine our hands intertwined. It wasn't obvious, someone would have to be actively looking to see that we were holding hands. It was such an innocent and timid gesture but it meant a lot.

The rest of the school day went by uneventfully. For once, I couldn't be happier when it was time to go home. Maybe it was stupid but I had all the belief in the world that this would go smoothly. My aunt wouldn't come home until midnight, my siblings would pretend like Javi and I didn't exist, and Javi and I would get to spend the entire evening together without being bothered by anyone.