Blue Blood ~ Young Royals

Each Other

"You don't have to be strong for me, Wille, you know that? You can cry if you need to." Simon says to me that evening. Up until now I thought my brief moment of losing control had gone unnoticed by him, my face being hidden in the hug, but now I'm not so sure anymore.

We're sitting on his windowsill outside in the dark, staring up at the stars in an attempt to feel more normal. I don't know if this counts as Simon breaking the rule of leaving his house, but it doesn't really matter. No one can see us here anyways.

I want to reply to Simon, but he's already talking again. "It's shitty for you too, this situation. I'm not the only one who's upset. And I want us to be there for each other."

"I know." I say, but do I really know? I feel like Simon has more of a right to be sad than me. After all, I'm not the one who was kept in jail with an abusive cop for a week and is now being seen as a monster. Bu still it hurts to see him go through this. It's breaking my heart and all the time I'm just worrying about what will happen to Simon. I'm worried that if I'm any more stubborn all his newly regained freedom will be taken away, but if I just sit back and wait for someone to make a decision they'll still see him as a monster and keep being cruel.

He takes my hand in his, running his thumb soothingly over my skin. "So if you know, just tell me how you feel. I've done nothing but spill out all my emotions and make you comfort me, so now it's your turn."

I want to talk to him, I really do, but I know he's still fragile. I don't want him to have to worry about me too. He can try to be strong right now, put up an 'I'm fine' face like I do, but within due time I know he'll be crying into my shoulder again. So to keep him from hurting more, I try to say the least I can. "I'm just worried for you, Simon."

He looks at me. "I know you are. But you don't have to hold in your emotions for me. You don't have to carry everything alone. We've got each other, and for me that's enough. I don't know what I'd do without you, Wille."

I scooch closer to him and wrap an arm around him, because that's the only thing I know how to do right now. How could anyone ever think Simon is an evil monster, the same Simon who's trying to get me to open up and take care of me despite how broken he is himself. "You're an angel, Simon... Why am I the only one who can see that?"

He lets his head drop to my shoulder, and I hold him tighter because it's the only logical thing I can think of doing right now. We just sit there for a while, lost in our own sorrowful thoughts, not uttering a word. Then, unexpectedly, Simon pulls out his phone and airpods. He hands one to me and starts searching through his phone for something. Then there's music.

It's a sad kind of song, and I kind of want to ask Simon why he put this on because it's making me feel even more depressed. But I don't, because at the same time I realize we're sharing this sad little tune, sitting here on the windowsill leaning on each other, and now it'll be ours. A song we share, a song that becomes a memory, and that makes it a little less sad. I'm sharing this song with Simon.

This is for the lonely ones, the ones who go to bed and think they got no one...

The words spinning in my head change from thoughts about Simon to the lyrics of the song, it takes me a moment to register them fully. But once I do, they hit me hard.

I ask myself, do I have anyone apart from Simon? My brother is dead, my parents probably only see me as a burden, and I don't have any other friends apart from Simon. No one else to love, to trust. I blurt it out before I can stop myself. "I just realized you're the only person who loves me."

He lifts his head quite quickly, looking at me with a slightly surprised expression. He takes the airpod from his ear, and without realizing, I copy. "What?" He says.

"You're the only person who loves me." I repeat.

He frowns a little sadly. "You... Really? You don't think your parents love you, or your frie- Am I your only friend?"

"Yeah..." I say softly, the truth hitting me harder the longer I think about it. "My brother is dead, my friends from my old school haven't made any effort to talk to me since I left, and... Do my parents look like they love me, Simon? I don't think they do. And yeah, I know what you're thinking. I'm the prince, all of Sweden loves me. But not the way you love me. Not the way a friend or family member would love you. And... I think you're the only person who loves me like that."

He blinks a few times, very fast, as if he's trying not to cry. His expression is one of sad surprise. I realize that he's probably lonely too, especially now that people are treating him like a monster. Yeah, he has me, and he has a loving family, but maybe he feels even lonelier than me. I suddenly regret opening up and I bite hard on my lip, feeling guilty for having possibly hurt him even more. The word sorry is already on the tip of my tongue when he says it before I can. "Sorry."

"What? You don't have to be sorry. You-"

"No, I'm sorry it's like that. I'm sorry you have to feel that way too..."

"I-" I stop talking abruptly, realizing he probably just admitted something subtly, the thing I already thought might be true. "You feel like that too? Like you don't have anyone else?"

He nods. "Yeah... There's you, there's my mom and my sister... And no one else, really. But... That's why we have each other. And we'll always have each other, right?"

He looks at me when he says it, silently pleading for me to say yes. Something in his eyes is so desperate for the reassurance that I'll always be there, the longing and love so deep even though we met something like 4 months ago. My heart aches almost painfully, and I nod, because I don't want to leave Simon. I don't want to think of a life without him. I want him forever. "We'll always have each other, I promise." I tell him, and the moment the words leave my lips, I feel even more sure that I mean it. I can't leave Simon, ever.

Note: Happy birthday to Omar today!!! I dreamt that he saw the birthday message I wrote and left me 60 messages on whatsapp but obviously that didn't happen irl lol. And also happy 2K reads to me today yayyyy! Thank you soo much it makes me so happy to know people are reading and enjoying the stuff I write (: (: