Love letters: Starchaser one-shots

Every single day until death comes for me too

Regulus Black died and James wishes it had been him instead.

Kinda like a love letter/confession for someone that already knows you love them and is also dead.

It's a very short story actually, and maybe someday I will make it bigger, but i just wrote this bc i don't want to study for college right now.

P.S:English is not my first language so sorry :)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

My memories with you used to be filled with happy moments studying together, lavender fields, coffee beans and tea all over the table, the moon and the stars decorating the dark sky over us, but since you were gone all i can think about is how the same moon that watched us kiss for the first time, lighted your crying eyes that day.

I can't even fathom how to describe the way I feel about you, about your rare smile, about how my happiest days were by your side and how much I wish I had been me instead.

Some might say that you welcomed death with open arms, but I know how much you fought against her your entire life.I watched her rip you apart, take your most precious moments away, make you the most miserable of them all.First it was by giving you such vile mother in an unloving family, after it was by separating you and the only person you counted on, your brother, and if that wasn't bad enough, destiny helped her by making you sacrifice yourself in order to make it easier to defeat the dark lord, but only to be seen as the enemy.

You deserved all the good things in this horrible world.

And I should've worshiped you while I could.Tell you how much I thought you deserved all I could give and more, kiss all your scars, make you forget about all your worries, make you my whole life.

No, you already were my whole life.Without you I can't breathe, I can't bring myself to live, to be happy or to move on.

So, it should have been me who died.I should have sacrificed myself, that way you could've started a new life with your brother and friends and maybe, just maybe you would have been genuinely happy this time.

With either of us dying, we were never going to be together, but I would rather see you alive than me.My whole existence is worthless compared to yours and even more if you are not existing by my side.

Just like they say, right person wrong time.Although it wasn't in the wrong time, it was in the wrong life.I don't know if I will ever see you again, maybe in the afterlife or in the next one, but I just wish i could've hugged you one last time.

Now I sit here, in the graveyard, reading Regulus Arcturus Black written on the slightly tilted stone.

Over and over.
Again and again.
Every single day until death comes for me too.

I feel like a coward with nowhere to go, because while you fought to live, I am thinking about joining you, but I know I can't bring myself to do it.There are still people that for some reason need me and I don't consider myself not brave because I don't have the will to exist, but because I had the opportunity to give you my life and wasted everything instead of saving you.

I would never expect you to forgive me, since you did what you did for me, but the blame will always be mine no matter what anyone says.

Now I reach for the small box inside my pocket and see what the future could have saved for us.I can even hear you say yes in your soft low voice that I loved so much.

The moon and the sun engraved in what was going to be our wedding rings will forever be a symbol of our love and souls.

While the winter wraps me with its deathly cold wind and I feel myself getting colder by the minute, I ask the most important question of my life and a part of me still waits for a response.

"Regulus Arcturus Black will you marry me?"

After that the only sound by that grave was of my body falling on the floor and the little box rolling away.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───