Arrays of Algolagnia

Chapter 1 The beginning

Chapter 1 The beginning

With one arm pinned above my head and my chest pressed against the shower wall, Frank hips stutters as he thrusts into me hard and fast. I moan loudly as his other hand holds my wet body steady. He leans in and rests his head on my shoulder. I can hear his heavy breaths and grunts as he gets closer to cummin. The steamy bathroom is filled with the sound of our intermingling moans and groans. The shower does little to drown it out.

His thrusts become more frantic as the seconds go by. He pummels into me, and I scream for him to keep going. I give him the encouragement he needs to finish seeing as we have been married almost 6 years and we've been trying to have a baby for the last 3.

When we met, it was only meant to be something fun, quick, and easy. We met through our mutual friend Jack. I had just started working at the same firm as Jack and we became fast friends. It wasn't long before he introduced me to Frank. We hit it off instantly and practically fell into bed the moment we set eyes on each other.

We spent an entire weekend in bed, only coming up for air when to eat. Then when it was over, I returned to the real world. Frank and I spoke from time to time, but it was two months later, when that little stick was flashing the word pregnant at me.

When I brought it to frank, he was great about it. excited even. We dated for 6 months, deciding we had great chemistry and was obviously great in bed together. a lot of people including Jack thought we were moving too fast, but with Frank, it felt oddly right. he always had a way of making me feel at ease with his easy-going attitude. It was until we decided to get married that things took a turn for the worst.

We had a small ceremony and reception in the backyard of our house when we were 8 months pregnant. Frank wanted us to be official before our son would be born. We painted the room blue and decorated with monster trucks. We were happy and ready. nothing could go wrong. until our very last checkup. that was the day they couldn't find a heartbeat. The doctors admitted me into the hospital and ran all kinds of tests just to tell me my baby is dead and has probably been dead for weeks.

It was the worst day of both of our lives. I believe that was the day frank started using. After that he would disappear for days at a time and sometimes if he decide to come home, he would be high of his shit. Jack and I have pushed him to seek counseling, but he says he doesn't need it. he says he can stop whenever he wants, and I was stupid enough to believe him. grief does strange things to people.

I dove headfirst into work and saving my marriage and frank instead of divorcing and moving on. after all, the only reason we were together was because of our son. at least that's what my mother says. but its deeper than that. I feel responsible for Frank. My inability to carry his child broke him. and now I feel obligated to fix him, even if it breaks me.

The sound of him slapping against my wet ass breaks me from my concentration. A constant chant in my head, A baby will fix us. a baby will fix him. he grips my hips with both hands as he finishes inside me. he groans loudly and as his breathing begins to calm, he kisses my shoulder and whispers my name, "Melody" as I rest my cheek against the shower wall. I cant help but think, I forgot to cum.

Frank pulls out of me, washes himself quickly and then step out of the shower. I finish was up and when I'm done, I get ready for work. I check the time and see that I'm running late. Jack will be here to pick me up soon since its his week to drive.

When I step out into the kitchen, I'm surprised to see Jack already here with bagels and coffee. I smile, "you're a lifesaver. Good morning."

Jack smiles back, "what can I say..."

Jack was always good at being the nice guy. He is smart, kind, and handsome. The epitome of nice guys finish last.

As I grab a bagel, I listen to Frank and jack talk about Bart, jacks dog. he tells him, he has been looking into doggy hotels because he will be doing some traveling soon and wont be able to take him along.

Jack briefly talks about him, being a finalist for a fellowship in Rome and frank congratulates him. its weird seeing the two side by side. They are like night and day with jack dressed in a slacks and a sweater vest with a collar shirt underneath. His hair and beard were perfectly trimmed. Then there is frank with his ruggedly handsome face, black t-shirt, and black jeans.

I check the time, and I say, "were going to be late."

Jack checks his watch as well, "oh yea..." he sucks in breath through his teeth and says to Frank, "beers tonight?"

Frank kisses me and says, "yea. see you tonight."

Jack lights a cigarette as we pull out of the driveway and I say, "Smoking is bad for you."

He smiles, "this will be my only one for the day." I give him an incredulous look and he laughs, "I mean it. I'm trying to cut back."

Skeptically I say, "oh yea. what brought on this change?"

He shrugs, "can't I just want to be healthier."

"sure. and if that is really true, I'm happy for you."

He laughs out loud again and says, "you don't believe me?"

"that's not what I said." He glances at me and it's a look that says, not to analyze him. but I do it anyway. "you are very..." I try to think of the right word that wont offend him. after a second, I settle on "...masochistic."

He barks a laugh, "masochist?"

"yes. As long as ive known you, you've been a sucker for pain, and I don't understand why. You're such a great guy."

Jack side eye me and for a second, I think I may have overstepped, when he smiles softly at me and says, "some would say the same about you and frank."

I sigh, "the difference between you and I... I know it."

Jack takes my hand and squeezes once, before lifting it to his lips and kissing my knuckles. "before I forget, happy anniversary." I don't respond. I just smile as he releases me and put both hands on the steering wheel, putting all his focus on the road.