I Didn't Sign up for This War.

Chapter 10

The rose feels unfamiliar and explosive in my tight fist.

"I'm just saying that it was obviously a mistake," Mary is saying. "I'm not trying to hurt your feelings."

"Yeah, probably." I look down at the rose again and roll it back and forth, back and forth. My fingers concentrate on dancing along the stem to avoid the thorns.

"I mean, the Princes only get one rose each. Why would he give his to you? Why would anyone give theirs to you?"

Well, that's one way to say it.

"Why do you care so much?" I feel the need to ask. I gesture toward the small pile of roses long forgotten on her dresser. "You seem to have plenty of admirers."

"I just don't understand."

I roll my eyes, wishing that I could be anywhere but here, wishing that the beautiful princess in front of me could be saying anything else. The scent of the candles in our room smells sickly sweet, stinging my nose and eyes.

I remember the look on Eugene's face when he saw that I caught it. How his face broke out in a smile. The feeling when all the Evers walked out of the auditorium. 'Who gave you yours?' we all asked. And when they saw the red petals clutched in my hand, nobody asked who my mother was. Nobody questioned my right to be here.

'What? Are you ashamed of me, darling? Only a few hours there and they've already changed you.'

"I mean, Mogrifs don't have relationships once they're tracked. Having a partner who's destined for the mogrif tracks is just a waste of time."

"Gee, thanks." I clutch my rose tighter, rubbing the petals gently between the fingers of my other hand. I guess the Mogrif tracks are going to be my life now.

"Why would he do that?" She sits down on her bed and stares at the wall in front of her.What's so interesting about it that she can't look at me?

"Maybe you shouldn't have this discussion with the girl who got the rose?"

Her face hardens and she rolls her eyes. "Oh please, don't tell me you think it meant anything."You seem to think it did, I want to say. You wouldn't be talking about it if you didn't think it meant anything.

'But why are you so attached to this idea of a Prince anyway, Rapunzel? You've never wanted one before. You've always been happy without one. It's just when you came here when things started to change.'

"And anyway, even if it did. It shouldn't for you because Eugene is my prince."

I finally look up at her. One of the few thorns of the rose stabs my palm and I wince, holding it a bit looser between the tips of my fingers. "Who said that?"

"It's what Princesses do. Each of the Princes graduates with one girl. Each of the girls gets exactly one guy That way we don't end up like savages. Everyone agrees that I would be perfect for Eugene. I'm sure we can find someone else for you though." She looks back at me and offers me a small smile. "What about that redheaded boy you were sitting next to? I don't think anyone wants him."

My face burns. "I didn't realize that," I admit, twisting the rose between my fingers gently.

"Of course you haven't," she responds, and I can almost here the pity in her voice. "Nevers would fight to the death for nothing. They already do."

'You'll never be a Princess, Rapunzel. No matter what, when they look at you, they'll just see your witch of a mother.'

"Right," I say, but I'm not really listening anymore. I kneel down to unzip my bag, sifting through it until I find one of the nightgowns Mother packed for me. The simple cotton feels comforting under my fingers now. Even though everything has changed, at least I can keep this. I move towards the bathroom to change and finally go to bed.

"You're supposed to wear the uniform on your bed." Mary tells me. She gets off of her bed and starts arranging the roses on her dresser.

I glance down at the bed and sure enough, a nightgown of pink silk is folded neatly and sits on the pillow. I glance over and spot one sitting untouched on Mary's bed too.

"What do they care what we wear to bed?"

"Well, better than that thing that you call a gown." She puts the roses in a pile, one on top of the other, and then purses her lips and starts to put them next to one another instead.

I reluctantly put my soft cotton nightgown back into my trunk and pick up the pink silk. It feels rough and foreign. I head over to the bathroom again.

"Wait, don't go! We haven't finished our conversation yet."

I pause.

"What more is there to discuss?"

"He didn't mean to give you that rose. It was an accident, he meant to give it to me."

I raise one eyebrow.

"I need that rose. That's how all the other girls will know..." her voice drifts off and the silence echos in the room.

'Please, she doesn't need any such thing.'

I hold it tighter than is probably wise, my arm childishly moves to hold it behind my back. "Says who?"

"Says everyone. Didn't you see the looks you got after you caught it?"

I look down and my cheeks heat slightly with shame. I don't know why. I don't care what everyone else says. I don't care. I don't care. "I don't care."

"You should. The Evers are our future now, and if you don't have allies, do you really have anything? I'm trying to help you. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Silence.

I stand still, rolling the rose back and forth between my fingers and our conversation comes to an end.

Mary doesn't talk to me while she takes her silk nightgown off her bed. She doesn't glance over as she moves past me to go into the bathroom.

'She doesn't deserve that rose. You do.'

But she says she needs it. Do I need it?

When we both wake up, there is one extra rose on her dresser.

And there are no roses on mine.