Chapter 23 - Kaya

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New Chapter!!!

Hi guys, I know it's been awfully long but it has been a long two months with so much going on and so much change. I can longer promise that I will update this story but I will try where I can and that is why I have decided to post this chapter. 🩷❤️

If you are reading this chapter, thank you so much for reading. It means more than you know.💗💗💗

But anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter.🌸💐🌷

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I sat in the expansive meeting room with only the Oyabun.

The room that not long ago filled with 26 members of the organization with every seat taken and no room to spare was now bare and vacant, leaving me vulnerable and open. I was the only pair of eyes the Oyabun had his attention on.

"It's been a while since I've been able to talk to you by yourself." He started, lighting up a thick brown roll of cigar. He inhaled deep, releasing a stream of smoke swirling into the air. "And a lot has happened since."

I nodded my head in agreement and kept my mouth shut. Once upon a time, I had respected this man. Respected him for how he didn't mind if a woman was to speak her mind. Respected him for how he let me be respectable woman in the organization where my thoughts and actions were valued.

Now, I could not. Not after knowing what he had done to Ryo. I would never forgive parents like him regardless of whether they learnt the lesson on their second child or not.

"I speak to you because I have a deal for you."

"A deal?" I questioned, sceptical.

"A marriage deal." Oyabun clarified. "With the second son of the Watanabe-gumi. He is more level-headed than the eldest and more intelligent from what I hear. This marriage will mean that some kind of peace can be restored between us and them. Additionally, you will become a well noted figure between both families, having our full support. No mouth will be able to utter a single nonsense about you without harsh reprimanding and your family will live comfortably for the rest of their lives."

A marriage. With the Watanabe's. This had to be some kind of trap on their part.

Alarmed and inching closer, I said, "you do understand that there were traitors who assisted the Watanabe's recently. They could have been responsible for the incident. This could be a trap, to get them closer to us and destroy us completely."

"I'm aware. And that is exactly why I am proposing you to marry into them and lend us your power to find out why they are luring our men and with whom they have decided to join powers with. Hence why you will have my full support in exchange for a life with comfort. Without having to worry about your mother and sister's situation." He leaned back into his chair, crisscrossing his fingers, placing his interlaced hand on his lap.

Oyabun had always been a man who saw people as tools. Each tool graded with it's potential. A screw as the lowly members, a screw driver as juniors, hammers as seniors, electrical devices as the elites. And I was screw driver. Dispensable but rarer than screws.

However there was one thing that I had advantage over the greater number of members within the Sakurazuki organisation over the two decades I have gotten to know this man in his children. I learnt to read their faces, the muscles in their cheeks and jaw, the way they busied their minds drumming their fingers loud or silent, I learnt to read them. 

"There is more to this, yes?"

"You read me well." He fished inside his breast pocket, whisking out a trifold paper, nodding at me to take it. Unfolding it, my eyes at start I leisurely view the words until words I never thought I'd see written, ran across the paper, my eyes widening with the information written on it.

"You are certain? Is this true?" I asked, my fingers gripping on the paper tighter with every second. A mixture of fear and rage sparking a wrathful flame within me.

Oyabun's hard eyes that mirror Ryo's surveyed me. "Not certain though I do have enough conviction to entertain the idea that it may be true. It does explain a series of issues and many near death situations on your part and your father's determination."

"But even if I infiltrate if you will,-" a humourless laugh escaped me. "- it doesn't guarantee myself of finding the truth and being of use to you and this organisation."

"Full support." Oyabun repeated like those two words alone explained all that was necessary. "The choice is ultimately yours. But I do need an answer by the end of the week." He stood up, his chair creaking as he did. He gives one more look, his features softening a touch like it does when Minori comes up to him and exits the room, the door left open. 

All this time I made myself believe everything was my fault and now there was the possibility that I had someone to blame, some to hurt, someone I could personally torture for answers, for the truth. There was a chance I could prove to my mother that I was more than a disappointment or a foul existence like dust that couldn't be removed even after wiping the floors daily.

I was twenty-six and certainly at an age where marriage was a suitable topic for discussion and consideration. Marriage on this side of the world were most times arranged by the elders and parents for the benefit of everyone.

Love isn't real Kaya. It's an artificial emotion people label when they're comfortable. No one will love you. My mother's voice echoed in my ears, chanting the line like fallen angels insistent on making sure I understand their message.

"What did he say?" Ryo came over, taking the seat next to mine. "Did he threaten you?"

I shook my head, "no."

"Then why do you look so puzzled?"

"I don't know." Shrugging, I added. "Information overload I guess."

"What did he say?"

"Does it really matter?" I hoped he would lay the matter to rest.

Oyabun's proposal weighed heavily in my mind and body, dragging me under the waters, steadily drowning me. I didn't want to marry into the Watanabe or any man except for the person who would never take the initiative or have the capability to do so. Protective yes. Love never.

And there was the other end of the deal where I could benefit from. Where could lay the bones of my grief to rest, leaving it behind me for good. An opportunity to truly move on.

"Yes, it does matter. If you haven't learnt anything by spending time with him, the first thing you should drill into your brain is that that man will use you to get what he wants. He used my sister, his daughter, to capture your father red-handed. Don't mistake yourself into thinking you could gain anything from this."

"So what if he's using me!? So what if I don't gain anything from it?!"

"Kaya stop thinking irrationally. Take a step back and think through what he has told you."

"And I have!" I screeched, my chest rising and falling in quick succession, my decision made. "He gets what he wants and I'll get what I want. What I need. Something you will never understand. So just leave me alone like you did a few years ago, okay?"

I leapt off from my chair heading right to the door, willing to keep the tears at bay until I left this manor and entered the safe bubble of my car. It will take more than being a little unstable to change his mind but this was a start. To turn myself into a full bitch with no regrets simply because I can't do this with regrets or uncertainty.

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