steven universe headcanons

1. Steven

As a baby, Steven's first word was "pa- pa!" which made Greg absolutely over the moon. He would have ran around the gems' house bragging to them that Steven had just spoken his first word, and Pearl would try to get him to say her name, but baby Steven couldn't pronounce her name properly, to her dismay.

When Steven was 6 years old, he almost died by eating a moldy MELTED Cookie Cat sandwich (or what was left of it) that he stored in his bedside cupboard drawer and started having terrible stomachaches. Garnet had to punch his belly (lightly) to get him to spit out the sandwich. He vomited out the remaining sandwich, much to everyone's relief.

Steven has tried to do Connie's homework problems but he's hopeless at math. Or science. He says it doesn't make sense but is always happy to listen to Connie explain it to him.

Steven has very... interesting taste buds. His favourite juice is durian juice, which only he, and surprisingly, Connie loves. 

Steven gets SO awkward around Connie's mom, it's painful to watch. He'll trip over every sentence and speak at all the wrong times. But he feels at ease with her dad, and even sneaks him Mr. Universe CDs secretly, as Connie's mom doesn't approve of "loud, distracting music" in the house.

As Steven grew older, his feelings for Connie only grew. He liked Connie secretly when they were small kids, but never really brought up the idea that their friendship was something more until he was 16. (although they both knew it ofccc) He took Connie to the beach for their usual evening walks and confessed he liked her (a lot) and asked if she wanted them to be more than friends(he suddenly became shy -- he was never shy around Connie before). Connie shyly kissed him on the cheek, making him blush like crazy. They never had a proper kiss though, until a month later on Steven's birthday, where Connie kissed him after he made his birthday wish and blew out the candles. (in front of Greg, which Steven was extremely embarrassed about, but Greg just started cheering for them "I'll leave it to you two!")(we stan greg #bestdad)

Steven can't imagine spending his whole life with anyone (any other human, that is) other than Connie. He'd spend hours just daydreaming about her, scrolling through photos of her and giggling and blushing. He'd made up his mind to marry her since he was like, 10.

Steven couldn't really wrap his head around the concept of "school", of being around so many humans that were the same age as him, an experience that he was curious about but never really longed to have, as his gem companions and Greg were just so supportive of him.

When Steven left Beach City, he probably went to a quiet town first as he was apprehensive about going alone into the bustling cities like Empire City, just to get to know the area and make some friends.

Possible careers he could have picked up:

- Disaster aid volunteer/organiser

- Writer of his own autobiography, returning to Beach City to issue signed free copies

- Became an independent singer/musician at a local bar

Steven becomes terribly homesick after leaving and returns to Beach City every 3 months to visit family and friends, and gets a huge welcome party everytime, though he's extremely against it ("There's no need to throw such a big party just for me! I'll be back again soon anyway!") But Greg and the gems love it. He takes Greg to small gigs in nearby cities sometimes and they perform as "Mr. Universe & son", drawing in small but energetic crowds everytime.

Steven and Connie get married when he turned 21, when Connie had finished college and started work as a lawyer in her hometown. The wedding was held in Beach City, and was nothing short of a spectacular affair, with the Crystal Gems having poured their heart and soul into the decorations, and Sadie Killer and the Suspects performing as a live band(they returned and regrouped specially to perform at the wedding). The cake was a rainbow cake with all the colours of the rainbow, and a light pink frosting that Greg baked and Lapis decorated. Bismuth made their rings out of rose gold and embedded small pieces of rose quartz inside. Steven's vows were especially cheesy and made everyone shed a tear (even Lars). Greg was the best man and Amethyst, Garnet and pearl were the bridesmaids. (and Greg was an absolute mess of tears and sniffles when the vows were complete, Pearl had to provide him with three rolls of toilet paper) The occasion concluded with a dance to some sentimental music by the live band, and Steven danced with Greg, where they fused one last time into Steg (Greg enjoyed having such a "ripped physique") and shredded some bass, then Steven and Connie became Stevonnie and stole the spotlight again.

Cuddle sessions were the best for Steven, and he would fall asleep in Connie's arms after she returned from a long day at work. He picked up cooking for her, and tries -- emphasis on tries -- to whip up a delicious meal for her every day to the best of his abilities.

He and Connie would have a daughter, and Steven did not pass on his gem to her this time, wanting to relieve her of the immense pressures and duties of being a gem, and to allow her to live as a normal human being. The Crystal Gems and Greg would move in to their house to help babysit, and Pearl would volunteer to protect her from all harm in the human world.