Nothing More: Nick and Charlie fanfic

30th May

TW: mention of SA

Charlie
I checked the time on my phone, it was just after five o'clock in the morning, but there was no way I'd be able to go back to sleep. Even if I didn't bump into Nick during the tour, I'd just have to text him after to tell him I was there. So either way, I would be seeing him today, and hopefully spending the night with him.

I got out of bed, and started checking my overnight bag to make sure I had everything. I was still undecided on if I should take condoms and lube, I wasn't even sure I felt ready to have sex with him sober, and we said we'd take it slow anyway.

It was unrealistic to assume nothing would happen if we spent the night together, so I chose to just take the lube. He probably already had some, but I wanted to be prepared.

It had been incredibly difficult keeping this a secret from Nick, he knew something was going on, but I didn't think he'd guessed I was going to Leeds. I just had to keep it up for a little bit longer, make him think I was going to school as normal, then we would actually be seeing each other.

[6:31] Nick: Good morning ❤️
[6:32] Charlie: Good morning 😊❤️
[6:32] Nick: Did you sleep okay?
[6:33] Charlie: Yeah, I slept well 😊 you?

Another lie, but last night I hardly slept because I was too excited. I also felt nervous, because it was really sinking in now that when I did see him, it was going to be so different. I couldn't even comprehend what kissing him properly would be like, I couldn't wait, but the thought was quite overwhelming.

[6:34] Nick: Yeah, I slept okay 😊
[6:35] Nick: I have a rugby match today, it should finish around 12:30 so I'll be on lunch a bit later today
[6:36] Charlie: That's okay 😊

This was perfect, I'd be getting to the university at about twelve o'clock, which meant I'd know exactly where he was. It also meant that when I saw him, he'd be in his rugby kit, which I could now fully appreciate.

Nick
The long distance thing was even harder than I'd expected. I always hated being away from Charlie, but now our feelings had come to the surface, the ache to be with him was even more intense.

[9:04] Nick: How's school?
[9:05] Charlie: It's alright, I miss you
[9:06] Nick: I miss you too Char ❤️
[9:06] Charlie: Do you think it'll be weird when we do see each other?
[9:07] Nick: What do you mean?
[9:08] Charlie: I dunno, it'll just be different 🤣 like, actually kissing you
[9:09] Charlie: I obviously really want to kiss you, I think I'll just be nervous 😂
[9:10] Nick: We can take it slow 😊 I'm not going to be shoving my tongue down your throat the second I see you 😜
[9:10] Charlie: Yeah 😂 I'm just being silly
[9:12] Nick: It's not silly to be nervous. It might be a little weird at first, but then I think it'll just feel normal
[9:12] Charlie: I can't wait to see you ❤️
[9:13] Nick: Me neither ❤️

It wasn't that I didn't love being at uni, because I did. It was always just slightly tainted by the feeling of missing home and Charlie.

I didn't have to hide who I was, even with my rugby team. It was refreshing to not have to pretend to be something I wasn't anymore, it had given me a lot more confidence, and I was around people who didn't make me feel like my sexuality defined me.

When I realised I was bisexual, I was honestly terrified. I felt like everything I thought I knew about myself had suddenly been stripped away, like I didn't know who I really was anymore.

I came out to Charlie first, in the summer before I left for uni, but I had been struggling with it for a few months before then. I always knew I was very fond of him, but when I saw him topless for the first time, I'd felt an overwhelming sense of attraction.