In another life

11

Despite having my girls back I cannot seem to get Mia out of my mind. It's not just her either, I seem to keep going back to that moment. Replaying it in my head. Every time I close my eyes I can see her, feel her hands on my waist, her lips on mine.

At first I just wanted to get it out of my mind but it didn't go away. Now, thinking about it, I don't mind it. It sounds so crazy I know but the feeling of Mia being so close to me... I miss it.

I'm definitely going crazy. There must be something wrong with my head. Yes. But even thinking that I trail back to her. Everything seems to trail back to her.

I was reading a story to Elsie and the princess had red hair. All I could think about was Mia. Her hair is such a beautiful shade of red, like spilt wine that flows just past her shoulders. It's so soft too, I don't know how she gets it so soft.

I've been thinking about Mia a lot. Far too much. I really think we just need to talk. But honestly I'm not sure what to say.

After getting the girls settled I sat in the living room and contemplated, well, everything. I decided to text Mia and ask if she'd like to talk, she probably won't reply but I feel like I need to just rip the bandaid off.

...

Once I heard the doorbell ring I immediately regret messaging her. But nevertheless I get up to answer it. Oh my god she looks good. She always looks good what am I saying? Wait, why am I even thinking about how good she looks? Get a grip Charlotte.

"Hi"
"Hi" well this is slightly awkward. I invite her in and we go to sit on the sofa again, "so uh, how are you?"
"Sweetheart you don't have to feel awkward around me, it's okay" sweetheart.
"I don't" she raises her brow, "okay it is a little awkward. I'm sorry"
"It's okay. We don't even have to talk about it, alright? Let's just move on. If that's what you want" is it what I want?

"I've actually been thinking about it a lot. And..." am I really about to say this? "I don't want to forget about it. I can't forget. Trust me I've bloody tried" Mia smiles slightly, she's got such a pretty smile.
"Okay. So what now?"
"Well... I've never, you know, kissed a girl before"
"Well you have now"
"You know what I mean. I've never even thought about it. I'm not quite sure what to think" her hand rests on mine, that seems to calm my nerves a little.

"Sweetheart it's okay. It's a lot for you to take in. You can take as much as time you need, okay?"
"And then what?"
"Whatever you want" this is a lot. I don't know what to think or do. Do I like Mia like that?
"Will you stay with me?" She nods her head.

Mia, of course, never planned on staying over so I leant her some clothes to sleep in before changing myself. I slide into the bed next to her and she smiles softly.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I asked Mia to stay over. I know I have a lot to think about and process but also, being around Mia is comforting. Even when what I'm stressing about is her. Us I suppose. God. Us. Is there an us? Mia is an amazing friend and the girls love her and they've only known her for a short time. Hell, I've only known her for a short time. But she's grown on me very fast. I'm glad we met. I'm glad we became friends. She's not like any of my other friends, she's special.

My mind wonders back to that day when Elsie said about Mia being my special friend. I wonder what the girls would think if I did see Mia that way. What about Jason? What about my other friends?

"Sweetheart, you okay?" Mia's voice brings me out of my thoughts. Her voice is so soothing. And a little flirty. And the next thing I know my lips are on hers. And it feels good. Really good. SHIT what am I doing?!?!

"Sorry. Shit. Sorry"
"It's okay" she smirks. God why does she have to do that and look so bloody good?!
"I'm sorry I just-"
"Char!" She laughs, "it's alright. I liked it" good to know.
"...me too"