Poetry/Tula Collection

The Chaotic Clamor Under the Surface

[Disclaimer: this piece is painted based on dark emotions and the ache of past experiences. I hope that it will boost the spirit of those who have hidden scars.]

The Chaotic Clamor Under the Surface
—Tellie🫥

Beware of the imminent illusion of calm, peaceful waters,
the seeds of consequences lay in my palm,
I suppressed the waves until a tsunami surged inside me;
like a beast released from its leash attacking with terrifying force—it drowned me.

Deafening constant shrill of havoc wrecked me, shaken by an intensely menacing earthquake,
the kingdom built collapsed easily; the aftershock of a single mistake,
since the mirror is shattered I began to create,
a condemning arson fueled in immense hate.

I survived climbing steep and rocky mountains,
sweetness of victory faded too soon, when someone dear to me said that others had gone through worse and excelled better,
throwing collected trophies in the gutter.

The shadow within whispered, you are unworthy,
bitterness grew, gradually driving me to apathy,
picked up all the irreparable pieces; blots of ink on the paper splotched by tragedy.

Never underestimate the ember, ignore it and it’ll form a wildfire,
violently entangled scribbles of overflowing messed up thoughts,
restless monsters in me won't let me give in to slumber.

Crying my heart out yet unable to drop a single tear,
but whenever it did slide on my cheek,
it's always covered with the comfort;
of pitch black darkness I once feared.

After being unheard and misunderstood countless of times, the strong wind blew out the flame of hope on the candle;
life is a labyrinth, never ceases to increase the level of difficulty:
a complicated lifetime puzzle.

I refuse to always hear what comes out from the sharp tongue,
to muffle the screams of aggression and to reduce the aggravation of the situation,
I plugged my ears and stitched my mouth shut;
I will never be sorry for being that so-called disrespectful brat!

Joined a masquerade, wore a masked identity,
laid underneath it a grotesque insecurity,
the body is still alive and yet I'm grieving at the grave of the part of me that died,
I cannot just say, "I am not fine," for no words can describe the angst of mine!