My Favorite Risk (gxg) (txs)

Chapter twelve - talking things through

After I left the campus, I got into my car to head to Scarlett's house. It wasn't a long drive, so I played one of my playlists. Once I arrived, I parked in her driveway. The memories of the last time I was here resurfaced, and I felt my cheeks heat up. When I got to her porch, I rang the doorbell. Not even a minute later, the door opened and she smiled from ear to ear.

"Hey pretty," she said, letting me into her house. There were so many unsaid things, about us, Lou, and so much more.

"Hi Scarlett," I smiled as I walked in. Before anything happens, I want us to talk this through... whatever this is between us," I said, my voice a little nervous. The conversation had to happen one way or another. 

"Okay," she spoke in a soft voice. She led me to the living room.

I sat on the edge of Scarlett's couch, nervously tracing patterns on the fabric. The weight of our situation hung heavily in the air between us. Her house was cozy and calm, filled with soft lighting and the faint scent of lavender, yet there was a tension simmering in my chest. I knew we needed to have this conversation—really have it. But even here, away from school and its watchful eyes, it was still hard to ignore the unspoken rules we were about to break or we had already broken.

Scarlett sat across from me, her gaze steady but gentle. She took a slow breath, giving me a reassuring smile that settled some of the nerves buzzing inside me. "So, I guess we should talk about this," she said, her voice soft, but firm. "About us... and what happens next."

I nodded, swallowing hard. I'd spent hours imagining this conversation, rehearsing things in my mind, but now that I was here, all the words seemed jumbled. "Yeah, I mean... it's a lot to think about, right?" I finally managed, glancing away, then back at her. "I guess I'm just not sure where we even start."

She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, her eyes searching mine with a warmth that made me feel safe. "Sarah, I want you to know that I care about you deeply. That hasn't changed, and it won't. But we both know that what we're doing is... unconventional."

"Unconventional," I repeated, a small, nervous smile forming. "Yeah, I think that's putting it mildly."

She laughed lightly, the sound calming me just a little. "But what I mean is... I think we can make this work if we're careful and honest with each other." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "I know there are boundaries we need to respect, but I also know that my feelings for you aren't something I can ignore or brush aside."

I nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. I'd tried to push my feelings for her away so many times, but every time I saw her in the hallways, every time we locked eyes in class, it was like a quiet reminder that there was something real between us, something I couldn't explain or control.

"So..." I started, feeling my hands tremble slightly. I clasped them tightly to stop the shaking. "How do we make it work? I mean, we have to keep things secret at school, obviously. But does that mean... does that mean we can't really spend time together?"

Scarlett's face softened, and she reached across the table, her hand brushing mine. "Not necessarily. It just means we need to be careful, and smart about how we handle this. At school, we keep things strictly professional. Outside... well, I think it's about creating a balance that works for both of us. We could meet up in places where we wouldn't run into anyone we know."

I looked down at her hand on mine, feeling that warmth spread up my arm and settle somewhere in my chest. "I don't want to be just some secret you have to hide," I whispered, voicing the insecurity that had been haunting me since we first admitted our feelings. "I know that's not fair, but it's hard not to feel like that sometimes."