Servitude: The Hydrangea Chapters

Chp 22: Remorseful Reflections

Once Marlina heard a door open, she'd slip away and dash to the tavern to arrive before Mordecai. A part of Marlina regretted eavesdropping and understood why she was left out while Neterion and Natashia were so anxious. Fortunately for Marlina, she wouldn't be tired or out of breath from sprinting so fast.

It was several minutes before Mordecai entered silently, lighting his pipe. He approached the stove to put away the leftover dinner and clean the dishes. Marlina tried to keep herself busy by wrapping her wrists in cloth and helping to dry the dishes after Mordecai finished washing them. Thankfully, she didn't exhibit any physical signs from racing back here, like shortness of breath or sweat; her lack of senses was also a blessing in helping her avoid the tension that lingered in the air.

He finally spoke without looking up from his hands as he cleaned. "How much did you hear?"

Marlina froze for a moment, initially feeling the urge to lie. However, she knew she was terrible at it and had learned that Mordecai detests dishonesty. "Much more than I should have, Sir Mordecai. But how did you know?"

He answered by tapping her body to create the metallic ring; he must have heard it when Neterion tackled her. "Looks like I'll need to teach them a lesson for dragging you into their mischief."

Although Mordecai didn't appear cruel, Marlina couldn't predict what he would consider a suitable punishment, leaving her concerned about what that might involve.

"They were just worried about you; after all, you are their father, as they say."

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth because of what Marlina said, knowing it was likely Natashia who mentioned it, as Neterion wasn't one to admit things like that out loud. "Worried or not, I don't want them getting any more involved than they already are. From this point on, it's my responsibility."

They spent a few moments in silence doing their chores. Marlina struggled to articulate how a captain or parent disciplines those in their care. "I can understand why this is so important to you. During my time in Urush, when I observed Urushians from a distance, I saw that they were fiercely loyal to those they cared about, just like you and Miss Tessa are to the people around here. But I've seen how the Emperor's men treated fellow Urushians across the territories."

Mordecai inhaled deeply, releasing a cloud of smoke from his nostrils as he looked at her. "Could you share a bit about what you saw there? I haven't been in Urush in several years."

Marlina hesitated for a moment. "I've seen groups of people beaten for protesting against the Emperor, young men taken from their homes and families to go to the capital to become warriors. They discriminated against each other as if they were different, even though they were the same people. From my perspective, they were no different. I sometimes felt that for those who allowed me to serve under them, despite their dislike for me, it was a way to see if life in the Colonies was any different."

Marlina glanced at Mordecai; his expression was solemn, yet he didn't seem surprised. "There was a family that sheltered me once. Emperor soldiers had chased me, trying to capture me as I wandered into a city near the capital. I ran to the outskirts, discovering farmland filled with corn for miles. I found an Urushian child lost in the rows, with night-prowling beasts nearby. She couldn't have been older than three. I could hear her parents shouting for her, so I carried her back to them."

"Despite looking like a Colonial, they were grateful that their daughter was okay and invited me to stay the night in thanks for helping them. Since I had run for hours, even after the soldiers grew tired of chasing me, I felt it was safe to stay and assist them with some of their work, especially with such a large field during harvest and their sons gone. The soldiers returned days later, with few other places to go since homes were so few and far between. When they told me to run, I suppose they couldn't bear to see a kind soul taken away, especially considering what might have happened to me. The soldiers..." Marlina's eyes were downcast. "...burned the home with them still inside. Then they reduced their generations of care for the land to ashes, trying to burn me along with it."

Mordecai was silent, but Marlina could see his hands clenching as the wood of the bowl he held creaked under the pressure. Marlina didn't want to say anything else that might upset him, yet something about their earlier conversation didn't add up. "How are you and Miss Tessa different from other Urushians?" 

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he resumed cleaning, washing slowly. "Not all Urushians bond with an element; we are among those rare individuals."

Marlina was confused by his statement since every Urushian she had met could wield an element. Her expression was no surprise to Mordecai because of how other Urushians view people like him.

"Those of us without an element are viewed as lesser. The elements are gifts from the Gods, and for an Urushian to not have that gift... we believe one must have done something horrendous in a previous life to be denied the privilege."

Marlina couldn't help but grimace. In a sense, she could empathize with how the Urushians treated her as a criminal when she had never harmed anyone. She felt ashamed just for existing with factors beyond her control. "Where did you belong if you were given no element?"

"It wasn't until years after the Siege of Maydra that Urushians began to be born without an element. All anyone could guess was that some sorcery by the Colonials and their ways of changing nature to weaken us. More were born without a gift as time passed, but the Colonials and their influence remained contained behind the mountains. By the time I was born, the Royal Family had no choice but to create villages at the edges of Urush for those like us to reside, our population growing with each passing year."

"Can I ask... who is Latos?"

Mordecai's body tensed, but a heaviness lingered in his gaze. "You should already know that unless you weren't paying attention." There was a sting to that statement, as that name was a sore spot for him, and he couldn't help but lash out.

"I mean, who is he to you?"

Mordecai sighs, understanding her meaning. "We lived in the same village. We, without any elements, would hone whatever craft or skill we needed to master to earn just an ounce of respect as true Urushians. Latos and I trained in combat until we bled, ached, and collapsed, striving to be seen as worthy of serving the Royal Family. We hoped that if just one of us could gain that recognition, it would prove to our people that we were just as worthy. Time and time again, no matter how many times we tried, we were denied the chance. It wasn't enough for them even after facing their guards and winning."

That might explain why Mordecai had so many scars on his body. The memoirs of his unwavering determination to feel like he belonged. "Would you tell me what happened that day?"

Mordecai shook his head, aware of the day she meant. "I think that's enough for one day, if it's all right with you." After finishing the dishes, he would wave goodnight to her before heading to the rooms to stay with the Colonial men.