Meant to Be

I'll help you, if you help me

After my visit with Murphy, and going back to my home, I thought about the offer Bellamy had made me, I thought about it, A LOT.

So, when I finished my work, I decided to stop by the Green's household, to make the deliver, but when I was going back to my house, I just couldn't stop thinking about it, so I just turned around and went in the direction of his house, Bellamy Blake.

When I arrived I knocked on his door, and for a change he answered right away.

Bellamy looked at me strangely before asking me. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I gave him a strange look and walked past him, I stood there looking around before sitting in his couch, the place looks exactly the same as I remember from the last time I was here. But, I wasn't there to admire his house, so, I got straight to business.

"I see, you already forgot about the little offer you made me."

"Why are you here, seriously, you already game me your answer, I don't wanna play games with you Haze."

Who does he think he is, honestly, how does he even dare to call me that, I hated every bit of that nickname. I loved it when we were together, but we aren't anymore and I don't want to remember the times when I was happy, before they took them away.

I gave him a death stare. "Don't ever again call me that" I say through my teeth.

"Sure whatever, now what do you want, don't play with me. I don't have time for your shit." He says shrugging his shoulder.

Now that I was actually in his house, sitting on his couch and talking to him, I started regretting every single one of my life decisions.

"I'm reconsidering your offer." I said.

"Yeah, sure you are, I know you, or your shitting me, or you want something back". I wasn't sure if I wanted anything in change, but he knows me better than I do myself. And since he suggested it, i'll take advantage of it.

"Well you do know me, on that I can't disagree, but there is a catch, I'll help you if you'll help me."

He was sure there was a 50%/50% chance that or I was playing with him, or that the help I needed wasn't for anything good, probably it wasn't even legal, but I know he really needed my help. "What do you want my help for?"

"I have to be on that ship too."

No way in hell was he ever letting me go on that ship with him, he tells himself he doesn't want me there, because he hates me, and doesn't want anything to do with me, but deep down he knows that's not true, he's still attached to me, just doesn't want to admit it, just like I don't, and maybe because he thinks they're sending them to the ground to die, and if he and his sister are going to die, he doesn't want me dead too. Just like I don't want him dead.

"No way, I don't want to be near you ever again, not me and certainly not Octavia" Lies, lies, lies, the only things coming out of his mouth are lies.

"You help me, I get on that dropship, and we'll never see each other again, that's the deal" He says, knowing he didn't want that.

"Well then we don't have a deal, anyway with deal or no deal, I'm getting on that dropship, I just wanted to help you, besides, like you I won't let my brother go to the ground and die all alone." I said while getting up and walking towards the door, before he puts himself in front of me.

"What are you talking about? Your brother is dead Blair, he was killed the second he got arrested, you know that." He says, trying to convince me of something that wasn't true.

I push him against the door, and put my knife to his throat before saying "Shut the fuck up, I know you know it, and I also know that you told Murphy you would protect his mum if he didn't tell me, so just stop okay I know he is alive. Please just for once tell me the truth, please Bell."

I was almost crying now, but I couldn't let myself be vulnerable, not in front of him, and not in front of anyone, I just needed to know the truth, I love my brother and I couldn't bring myself to lose him a second time.

I was mad and frustrated, how could he lie to me in my face and never have told me the truth, I know it's Bellamy and we have history together, but I really thought he at least would have some decency, but apparently not.

He looks at me with sorrow. "I'm sorry, I really am and I know I should've told you, but I couldn't, no matter how many times ill explain you, you wouldn't understand."

"I don't care know, sorry won't do anything, I'm not here to talk about that, I'm losing my patience and my time Blake, do we have a deal or no."

"No we don't." the second those words left his lips, I know he regretted it, because what I said next, was nothing but the pure truth and if that happened I know his heart would be completely shattered.

I looks at him with anger building up inside me, I had always had a temper but, I was never able to control it, and it was all my father's fault, and when I was mad, I shoot words to kill, and that conversation was no different, because I instantly regretted the venom words, that slipped past my lips.

"Okay, but don't come crying to me when Octavia's dead."

I know he understands my point of view, but his sister, is his most precious thing, and those words hurt like a bitch. I know it. "You don't mean that"

"Oh I sure do Blake, you and I both know you won't be able to get on that dropship without my help." I said, venom filled in my words.

I was done arguing with him, I'm losing my time, and I have better things to do anyway, so I walk out of the door, leaving him standing there looking at me with pure hatred.

I know I hurt him, and maybe I shouldn't have said it. But I need to get on that dropship to be with my brother, and if being with my brother and protecting him means hurting people... Than that's what I'll do.