Right where you left me {a Joel Miller fanfiction}

Chapter 10 - Landslide

"Well I've been 'fraid of changin', 'cause I've built my life around you." - Landslide, Fleetwood Mac

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July 2018, Boston QZ

It had been two months since that sweltering day at Bill and Frank's, something had changed between me and Joel ever since then. It was as if all the ugly tension had disappeared, along with the bullet I'd released from the shotgun. Despite Joel opening up to me he still seemed to be closed off, he seemed timid around me which was unusual for him. Joel would often speak his mind and would never avoid confrontation with me, but he almost retreated now as if he had already said too much. I wanted to push him for more, wanted to crack open his thick exterior and dissect every part of his soul. But I knew that was a dangerous game to play.

Today was Tommy's birthday and of course he had decided for all of us to come over to his apartment to do his favourite activity, drink the alcohol he'd managed to save up on supply runs and listen to whatever music he had on his beat up CDs. Despite our previous differences, music was always something me and Joel could civilly debate or agree on during long supply runs. We found that The Beatles and Fleetwood Mac were an interest we shared. Despite me teasing Joel for hours on end that it wasn't very country of him, and us both debating endlessly over who the best Beatle was. Joel had promised me that one day if I was lucky he would let me hear him play guitar and I had been clinging to that for weeks now.

I laughed to myself softly watching the sight unfold in front of me, a very drunk Tommy and Tess dancing around like headless chickens to the song that had long since faded into the background of their voices, attempting to sing along, almost deafening me.

I often caught glimpses of Joel from across the room, leaned against the arch that led into the kitchen, bottle in hand that he took small sips from as his eyes seem to never leave me, like I was his prey. He had stood like that for the majority of the night, often only speaking up to make snide comments about how ridiculous Tommy and Tess' attempts at dancing were.

I tried not to let my gaze shift over to him too often but it was almost impossible, I felt as though I was drawn to him like I was being physically pulled towards him. I had spent every night since May thinking of the way his hands felt on my hips, the sound of his low voice in my ear, it almost made me dizzy, the effect one man could have on me. I had never felt so strongly for anyone before Joel. He was the only exception.

"Come on you two, why don't you dance? You're just sitting there. Live a little," Tommy said in a slurred tone.

"I don't dance," Joel replied firmly, taking another sip of the bottle, of which I didn't know the contents of, all I knew is that it burned my throat. But Joel didn't seem to mind it.

"Neither," I replied, letting my eyes sweep over his broad form. But my gaze fell to my feet again with a somewhat disappointed look on my face. I wanted to dance, so desperately., I wanted to dance with Joel. No one else.

"Oh come on Joel, give us a dance since you've been judging us all night. Show us how it's done cowboy," Tommy said, stumbling over to his brother.

I laughed at Joel's reaction, his face was priceless as his brother attempted to pull him away from the wall he seemed practically stuck to.

"Tommy, I told you I don't dance!" Joel exclaimed, still trying to pull his arm out of his brother's grip.

"Bullshit. It's my birthday too, what I say goes, big brother."

My laughter continued at their childish banter, tapping my feet along to the beat of the music  almost subconsciously, "Don't think you're getting off that easy either Adams. You've been tapping those feet all damn night. Don't think I haven't noticed." He turned, pointing his finger at me while narrowing his eyes.