P U R E

L O S T

Some people go through nowhere, they search for nothing, they've got no plans, no dreams, and no motivation. While they keep walking on that path to nowhere they forget when they've started that pointless journey. Sure, they have past, but they live in it, refusing to fight back all those memories and move on. Their thirst to get back is greater than the idea to have a happy life. They have low self-esteem, however, they are selfish and arrogant. One of those people is Charlotte, my sister. Of course, I love her no matter what, but sometimes I loose hope to turn her back from that path. She's like a time-bomb, who destroys herself and everything around her. She doesn't mind saying awful things, and regrets afterwards while getting all the seriousness of the situation. A girl who lost herself in the middle of her lifetime, in the past, hanging from those special memories and doesn't let them go. The worst is that she realizes that it wont end up well, but continues existing the same way. Broken girl with broken wings, with open wounds and defeated mind. Although, she has many friends, relatives, siblings, she wants to be alone, lonely in hopeless and despaired palace of hers.
We try to help her to move on for almost 1 year, but she impudently screws up everything. Charlotte is used to show her strong and independent but definitely it doesn't work, we know her too well. For strangers she seems very self reliant and egoist, but thats from the first sight. The real she is a child in an adult body, playing, screaming, and refusing to grow up and enter the cruel reality. She desires changes, but doesn't take a step to make them real.
Charlotte entertains herself to forget about her daily basic problems. Her intense relationship with her parents is one of those problems. She is 19 with a soul of 9 years old, black haired girl with small plumpy body, with limited imagination and freedom. At the same time she loves attention, and does so many pointless things to get it.
We all know she goes through nowhere, not listening to anyone, and pretending that she has goals and dreams. A Path that leads her to despaired endings. Nevertheless, we try to stay optimistic as we can and support her to find herself and be the real Charlotte. She's still my cousin, no she is my sister.
Again October, again classes, again tons of homework and study. Studying with Greg was the best way of doing nothing. So I stayed in library to be more focused on what I'm doing. Surely, I was all into Charlotte's invitation to the party rather than studying. Is it a good idea to attend it or not, should I stay at home and study?...Nah! I know I won't. I would more likely watch films and sleep than study...what if it is worth to go and hang out wwith friends? why not? Yeah I don't like too much loud places, but I guess we'll find a quiet place for me.
I was thinking about cons and pros of the party nearly 1 hour and got to the point that t's worth to go. Now, there's another issue, since its a halloween party I should wear something. Whom I should become? Dracula? Vampire? Murderer? Alien? I have absolutely no clue, besides I don't know from where to find a proper costume. Well, I'll dicuss it with Greg, maybe he has some ideas.
I put my earphones, opened my playlist, and chose Adele, hmmm, that's strange, I've listened Adele not so seldom. Anyway, I like her voice, everything doesn't matter. I've done some work hopefully, packed my bag and exited library. I had no plans so I called Greg and convinced him to move his ass out of his flat. We planned to meet at our spot, where metro station is.
Since he is always late, and I'm always the punctual one, I should wait for him -_-