How To Say "I Love You"

Chapter Five: Everything I Never Said- 4 Months Later- Both.

Tanner:

I still saw her every day. Passed her like a stranger, passed her like I didn't know who she was.

I lied. Lied when I told her I was going to Charlotte's. I didn't. Instead, I watched her leave, watched her run, the words I'm sorry pushed to the back of my mind. The words I miss you off the table. I knew what I'd said was a lie. I should've told Charlotte to leave, but instead, I let her stay and broke Indi's heart. Broke my heart. Broke us.

Indi:
Sienna passed me the ball. I jumped to reach it, my fingers only just closing around the rubber before the Drysdale defender intercepted. I passed it on to Tilly, who bounced it to me as I flew into the circle. I tripped. As I hit the deck, I caught Sienna's eye. Her eyes were flicking back and forth between the umpire and the sideline. I stood up. The timer started again. My free. I jetted it out to Anna. She caught it, her eyes darting around until they landed on a free Sienna in goal attack. 5 seconds left. 4. 3. Sienna positioned herself, flipping the ball in her hands. 2 seconds. The ball spun up toward the ring. 1 second. It swished. The siren went. Eagles by 1. We cheered, jumping around in a circle. We were through to finals. As we dispersed, I saw Sienna leaving with him. I grabbed my bag. He saw me. Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit. I looked down, pulling my phone out of the pocket of the bag. I started to walk home, typing furiously on my phone so he wouldn't come over. It didn't work.

Tanner:

I left Sienna at the court and ran over to her. 'Indi!' I called. She stopped walking. I stopped in front of her. 'Hey.' I said. She looked a bit stunned.

'Hi,' she replied. I smiled wryly.

'Look. I know you said you don't want to see me again, but-'she cut me off.

'Hey, um, I've really gotta go. It's Yaz's 19th tonight and Mum wants me to help set up and stuff. Sorry, but Mum'll skin me if I'm late,' she said. I nodded.

'Yeah, that's fine. Tell Yaz I said happy birthday.' I replied. She smiled.

'I would stay if I could. Really. Hey, you should come with Cee tonight. I'm sure Zane'll appreciate the company,' she said. I covered my disappointment with a smile. She'd invited me for Zane. Zane. Not her. 5 months ago, she wouldn't have gone to the party, she'd have come to mine, or we'd have gone to the footy. She was over it. 'I'll be there,' I replied.

***

'She hates me still,' I said, kicking my sneakers under the couch. Sienna flopped down beside me.

'Does not. You want to know the truth?' she asked. I nodded. She threw a pillow to the ground.

'She hates herself. She hates herself for telling you she hated you. She regrets it, T. Badly,' she said. I thought about it, then remembered what she'd said at the game. I'd stay if I could. Really. 'Is she ok?' I asked. Sienna went to nod, but then stopped. 'No. She isn't. Even before the fight the guilt of breaking up with you really hurt her. She wasn't sleeping and- and she was thinking about giving up,' her voice broke at the end, and I realized what we'd done. Sienna had been scared. Scared of losing her best friend, and Indi, well, she was masking her pain. She wasn't over. 'Has she said she's over us?' I said. Sienna nodded. 'She's trying to. I don't think she will, though.' She said. This was a stab. Indi was not okay. She'd been hurt, and the only thing that could fix that, well, I would have to fix it.

Indi:

Yasmin's party was off with a bang. Set up in our too-big garage, there was everything, drinking games (for Yaz and her friends) music, a dancefloor, and the bar fridge had been overstocked. Sienna and I were starting to wind up to the party, a Gordons downed by both. The shed door opened, and Mum appeared, her face taut with worry. 'Indi, I need your help. Can you head down to the BWS and find Tanner and Zane? I sent them for more rum, but they haven't come back.' She said. I nodded. Sienna and I left our drinks and headed the block to the BWS in darkness. Under the carpark lights, I saw something I never wanted to see again. Three drunken men, probably in their late twenties, were squaring up to Tanner and Zane. Sienna stifled a gasp. I watched nervously. 'Fuck off you fuckin' arseholes!' one of the men said. I gulped. The boys tried to walk away, but the second man grabbed Zane's collar. I gasped. He sent punch after punch into Zane's face, until he collapsed. 'ZANE!' I screamed, breaking into a run. I cleaned one of the junkies across the face, sending him flying to the asphalt. 'FUCK OFF THE LOT OF YOU!' I yelled. Hands grabbed me from behind, and I made a desperate attempt to sling him off. Eventually, the men cleared off, and I dropped to my knees beside Zane, who's nose was bleeding and had a cut above his eye, and who was knocked out. 'Zay, you'll be fine,' I whispered. Faintly, in the background, I could hear Sienna talking to the ambos with panic in her voice. 'Kids!' Dad ran across the carpark as the ambo pulled in. 'Dad, these blokes came and just smashed Zane up and he's knocked out and- and I don't know what to do,' I sobbed. Arms around me. I fell into them, crying, as Dad and Zane left in the ambulance. Sienna spoke softly, but I barely heard her words as we headed home.