I had a friend that tried making multiple books on this platform, none of them were up for long because he saw how many people read my stories and asked me how, I told him it took a lot of time and patience and he groaned at that, he didn't like the idea of having to wait for the things he so desperately wanted to do, he loved writing, but he let himself get into that mindset that if it doesn't hit off in the first few days then it'll never work out, the truth is, it took a month for me to get 1 reader that wasn't my girlfriend at the time, I will forever be grateful for everyone who still reads my stories even with my mental health being at its Lowest right now. So I wanna say.
The only person stopping you is yourself, go read that book you like, go for that walk, write poetry, write books, do anything you want. Tomorrow is never promised so try and make the most out of every day. I'm not gonna say some corny shit like
'it's not can't, it's don't want to'
Because that's not true at all. Sometimes you genuinely can't do anything, and that's alright, no one is perfect, something I find helpful for when I feel down, I put my characters through the same thing I'm going through, it gives me a sense of feeling heard while also not opening up, this is effective the most for people who never let their guards down. I see you and you're not alone, I feel the exact way too, and the people who don't know what to think, or why they feel how they feel, I feel that too. Someone asks you what's wrong and you just... Don't know. It messes with you when you finally get diagnosed because it's like whatttt? I have that?
What I'm trying to say is, don't let yourself stop you, if you can't that's ok, but try, sometimes you can't, sometimes you try your hardest and still get something wrong, that's completely ok, no one expects perfection, and if they do then that's bullshit. You can't be something that doesn't exist. Nothing is perfect. For example, a PERFECTLY cooked steak isn't perfect in the eyes of a vegan or vegetarian. The beauty standard changes yearly, sometimes even monthly. Don't beat yourself up. I can't say it'll get better, I don't know if it will for you, and I can't say I know how you feel, I don't, I don't know how you feel, and sometimes you don't know how you feel either, that's ok, that's completely ok, there's a lot I keep private. I sleep with stuffies, I cry easily, I trust too much. And I'm a teenager. These things are normal ok? Don't beat yourself up for something so small like that.
Good things take time.
Momento mori.
