benjchavez
Good morning, sunshine. Happy Sunday! Simba tayo? :)
I've never been a religious person. I could count the times I've gone to church. I believe in God, yes, but I don't think it's necessary to always go to church just to be considered devout. I know a lot of people who never miss a Sunday but are so absentminded. They claim to be religious, but they meddle too much in other people's lives.
They say there's always room for improvement. I have nothing to lose by going to church with Benjamin... nothing to lose by attending mass.
I have nothing to lose... but so much to gain.
As soon as I said yes, he sent me the location. Buti na lang at maaga akong nagising. The mass starts at eight o'clock. It's only six thirty in the morning. I started getting ready immediately.
benjchavez
What color are you wearing?
Nangunot ang noo ko.
maicahcrizan
why?
ano na naman yang pauso mo? 🤨
benjchavez
Babagayan ko po :)
I had finished getting ready, so I sent him a mirror selfie. I was wearing a pink dress that was just above the knee. It was sleeveless, so I had a white cardigan over it. I wore sandals. I also brought a string bag for my things.
Pagkababa ko ay naabutan ko si Chad na kumakain ng breakfast. Tapos na ako kanina pa dahil ako ang nagluto non. Lumapit ako sa kaniya para magpaalam.
"Sisimba ako," I told him.
Nag-angat siya ng tingin. "Okay, ingat si Lord sa 'yo."
Tarantado talaga. I left after saying goodbye. The church was close, so I arrived on time. I immediately saw Benjamin outside. He was wearing a pink shirt. I smiled. He actually matched my color!
When our eyes met, he smiled right away. Kanina, sobrang naka-kunot siya at masama ang mukha. He looked unapproachable. But now, he looked like a puppy. A happy pup.
He held my hand as we walked into the church. The mass was about to start, so there weren't many seats left. Luckily, he had reserved seats for us. Kasama niya pala ang mga kaibigan niya. I wasn't prepared to see them here! Hindi man lang ako sinabihan ni Benjamin!
Nag-o-overthink tuloy ako. What if ang pangit kong tingnan today? What if pag-usapan nila ako sa GC nila mamaya? What if sabihin nilang bakit ganito lang ang kasama ni Benj? What if itanong nila kung bakit ako?
Pero lahat ng sumasagi sa isip ko ay nawala nang marahang haplusin ni Benjamin ang kamay ko. Napansin niya agad ang pagbabago ng expression ko. He was really observant.
He then leaned in to whisper, "You look good today."
I smiled as I turned to his friends.
"Hi," nahihiya kong bati.
"Wayne here!" Nakipagkamay sa 'kin 'yung kulot ang buhok.
"Gab." Ngumiti lang 'yung isa. Mukhang tahimik.
"Isaac," the guy sitting on Gab's side introduce himself.
Nginitian ko sila. "I'm Crisandy, by the way."
"Hindi mo na kailangan magpakilala, kilala ka na namin!" Wayne laughed. "Bukambibig ka ng isang 'to, eh." Siniko niya ang kaibigan niya.
"Don't mind them," Benj whispered to me.
At hindi ko na nga sila napansin dahil dumating na ang pari. The mass lasted for an hour. Benjamin's friends left right away because they had their own plans. Benj and I said our goodbyes to them before heading to the National Bookstore. I needed to buy some supplies before we ate. Benjamin offered to buy my things since he wanted me to paint his portrait.
Nakasunod lang siya sa 'kin habang namimili ako. May hawak siyang basket habang nakasunod sa 'kin. He was all smiles while doing that. I couldn't help but notice how patient he was.
Ayos lang sa kaniya na mabagal ako sa lahat. Sa paglalakad, sa pagkain, sa pag-iisip, at katulad ngayon, sa pagpili ng bibilhin. He's so patient, huh.
"Ano sa tingin mo ang mas maganda... this or this?" I showed him two types of paint.
"This." Tinuro niya 'yung nasa kaliwa kong kamay.
I shrugged. Mas maganda 'yung nasa kanan.
He chuckled. "Pinapili pa nga ako."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."
I mean, I already had a choice in mind! I just asked him to make sure it was the right one.
After ilang minutes ay nagpunta na kami sa counter. When he used his credit card to pay for my things, I realized how wealthy he was. Dapat pala marami pa akong binili, chos! Hindi naman ako abusado, 'no.
After shopping, we ate at a restaurant. He treated me again. He could be my sugar daddy with how generous he is! It's not surprising though, they are family of engineers.
"Natulala ka na naman sa ka-gwapuhan ko." Pinitik ni Benj ang noo ko.
"Ouch." Sumimangot ako. "Masakit."
A ghost of smile appears on his lips. "Sige, pitikin mo rin ako." When I did, sumimangot din siya. "Baby, masakit."
"Wow?" Umirap ako.
"Kiss mo, please."
Here we go again with his flirting.
I rolled my eyes again. He laughed.
And I couldn't help but stare at him.
"Hmm?" he asked.
I looked away. "Nothing."
Every conversation, every shared silence, every exchanged glance reveals more than words ever could.
With each moment, I hold onto the hope that these signs are guiding me toward the love I've been searching for — the way back into love.
