The "Biggest" Fan (EN)

19.

For the next few days, I didn't feel like going out at all. I spent most of my time staring at my notebook, hoping that maybe some lyrics would magically pop up and help me make sense of... Whatever was happening in my head. 

Maybe I did like the kiss. Fine, it was a great kiss. Harry is a great kisser, — like, of course he is, right? Who wouldn't like a kiss from Harry?

But was that really why I couldn't shake him out of my mind? Or was it the empty feeling that hit every time we didn't talk these last few days? Yep, I actually missed him. Somehow, I'd gotten used to him being the person I could confide in about my fears or just joke around with. Now, I was alone.

To make it worse, my social media feed was full of Harry content. Normally, I'd scroll right past, but now it was the closest thing to comfort I had. And there it was, a new video interview from a few hours ago. He hadn't mentioned anything about it. Probably because I still hadn't texted him back.

Harry sat on a sofa with that signature smile of his, the interviewer seated across from him. He looked flawless, though his eyes didn't seem as bright as usual.

And then, that voice. Fuck. Hearing it again had me so thrown off I almost missed the question.

"So," the interviewer leaned forward, clearly excited, "Everyone's dying to know about the new album. How's it going, and when are we finally going to get it?"

"Ah, I'm deep in the process right now. I know it's taking forever, but I'm hoping just a few more months, tops. I promise it'll be worth it." He shot the camera a wink that seemed so effortless, almost automatic. What a flirt.

"That's amazing," the interviewer said, "Could you at least hint what it's going to be about? Your latest song was lovely; are you going to keep a similar style?"

Harry laughed. "Well, you know, I guess it'll be... More personal, I guess. I'm trying to write about things that actually matter to me, and sometimes it takes time to put that into words," he smiled, almost shyly, and I swear my stomach did a little flip.

"So, writing about 'what matters,' huh?" the interviewer pressed. "Does that mean we're getting some insight into your personal life? The fans would love a little peek!"

Harry laughed, shaking his head. "See, that's the funny thing. It's hard to have a personal life when everyone's already peeking, isn't it?"

Alright, he's charming. And infuriatingly good at making people love him.

"Any particular person or thing you've been inspired by lately?" she asked, with a mysterious smile.

For a second, Harry's expression changed. "Agh..." he stammered but then quickly recovered, grinning. "You know... I can't give away all my secrets."

Smooth, Harry, real smooth. The interviewer laughed and moved on, but I sat there, breathing deeply. Was that about me? Probably not. He was just stringing viewers along. But damn, he was good at it. And how could I ignore the fact that even watching him made me smile? Enough. Enough of Harry.

I tried to shake off the weird fuzziness and wandered out of my room, where the smell of chicken was hitting hard. In these moments I was so grateful I didn't live alone, because I'd have to live on microwave dinners forever.

Lottie was in the kitchen, dancing to music through her earphones, looking way happier than usual.

"What's with the mood?" I asked, making her jump. She laughed, tossing the cutting board into the sink.

"Oh, didn't see you there!" She put her earphones down, "Thought you'd left for rehearsal."

"No rehearsals today. Needed some time for myself," I said, attempting a casual tone.