Kamen Rider Aetherwing
Episode 28: "The Professional Villain: A Total Amateur"
(Opening Scene: Cinderclaw's lair. Cinderclaw is pacing back and forth while his minions sit around him nervously.)
Cinderclaw:
"Enough! Dragon is making me a laughingstock in Sunny Patch! I need help. Someone professional. Someone who can finally crush him!"
(The minions glance at each other, unsure what to say. Suddenly, a tall, overly dramatic beetle in a sleek black suit enters the lair.)
Cinderclaw:
"Who are you?"
Villain:
"I am… The Exterminator! Professional villain for hire. I have over ten seasons of experience in bug domination reality shows."
(Cinderclaw claps excitedly.)
Cinderclaw:
"Perfect! Finally, someone who can take down Dragon!"
(The Exterminator smugly adjusts his tie.)
Exterminator:
"I'll handle your problem with precision, stealth, and unmatched cunning. But first… my fee."
(Cinderclaw hesitates and hands over a jar of honey and a bag of seeds.)
Exterminator (grinning):
"Pleasure doing business. Now, leave it to me."
(Cut to Dragon lounging in a tree, flipping through a comic book.)
Dragon (breaking the 4th wall):
"Villain of the week alert. Let me guess, this one’s either hilariously incompetent or trying way too hard. Oh wait, it's both. This is gonna be fun."
(The Exterminator sets up an elaborate trap involving a fake treasure chest, a pitfall, and a net made of spider silk. He hides behind a bush, chuckling to himself.)
Exterminator (to himself):
"No one can resist the lure of treasure! Dragon is as good as caught!"
(Dragon flies by, spots the treasure chest, and pauses mid-air.)
Dragon:
"Really? A treasure chest? In the middle of nowhere? Subtle."
(Dragon flies closer, then casually pokes the chest with a stick. The entire contraption collapses, and the Exterminator gets tangled in his own net.)
Dragon (breaking the 4th wall):
"Step one of villainy: don’t test your traps on yourself. Rookie mistake."
(Dragon waves and flies off as the Exterminator flails helplessly.)
(Back at the lair, the Exterminator tries a new plan: a mechanical beetle suit with oversized pincers.)
Exterminator:
"This time, I’ll outmatch him in strength!"
(Cut to Dragon chilling by a stream. The Exterminator stomps into view, flexing his pincers.)
Exterminator:
"Prepare to meet your doom, Dragon!"
(Dragon looks up, unimpressed.)
Dragon:
"Whoa, look at you! Did you get that from the Bug Tech catalog? Bet it has terrible mileage."
(The Exterminator charges at Dragon but trips over a rock, sending him rolling into the stream. The suit shorts out, and sparks fly.)
Dragon (laughing):
"Let’s give it up for the waterproof tech that isn’t actually waterproof!"
(He turns to the camera.)
Dragon:
"Pro tip: Always read the fine print on evil gadgets."
(The final attempt involves a giant cannon that’s supposed to blast Dragon out of Sunny Patch.)
(Dragon strolls into the field where the cannon is set up, sipping nectar from a leaf cup.)
Exterminator:
"This is it, Dragon! My ultimate weapon!"
Dragon:
"Let me guess, it’s gonna backfire… literally."
(The Exterminator pulls the lever. The cannon starts to charge but makes ominous clunking sounds. Suddenly, it explodes, covering the Exterminator and Cinderclaw—who was watching nearby—in soot and feathers.)
Dragon:
"Called it! And bonus points for the feather effect. Nice touch."
(Cinderclaw throws his claws up in frustration.)
Cinderclaw:
"I hired a professional! How did this happen?!"
Exterminator (sheepishly):
"Well, technically, I’m more of an amateur professional…"
(Dragon laughs, pointing at them both.)
Dragon (breaking the 4th wall):
"Remember, folks, villains hiring villains? That’s like ants building sandcastles—doesn’t end well."
(Back at the Hollow Tree, Dragon tells the story to his family.)
Bounce:
"You mean they actually hired a professional villain?!"
Dragon:
"Yep. And the professional was professionally terrible."
Shimmer:
"Do you think they’ll ever learn?"
Dragon (grinning):
"Not as long as I’m around."
(He turns to the camera one last time.)
Dragon:
"And as long as they keep trying, we’ll keep laughing. See you next week, Sunny Patchers!"
(Cue dramatic pose as the screen fades to black.)
End of Episode 28
