Icy Inferno (Troyler AU)

⋙ Chapter Thirty-Five

Would someone care to classify
Our broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on
And run to them, to them
Full speed ahead

Misguided Ghosts ~ Paramore

Tyler

"Whoever said money doesn't buy you happiness obviously didn't know where to shop!"

Korey laughed at his own statement, unaware of the deadpan expression the rest of us wore. Even if he had noticed, he wouldn't have cared. He was busily moving round the store, picking out items and chucking them to the guards to hold. He was endeavouring to find suitable suits for both of us to wear in our first television appearance since Vegas. And he was having the time of his life doing so.

I hated the whole experience. Well, not quite. I'd gotten past the point of hate. I just endured it. I'd been living this life since forever, and eternity never ended. I had to make do, to be the perfect brother he yearned for. The brother I had been before doubt had been planted in my mind.

He turned to me, asking for my opinion on the colouring of a suit. I gave my response, saying that the subtle lavender colour went well with his eyes. He grinned - then ignored what I'd said and decided to put it back. I kept up my placid smile on when he looked back at me. We continued roaming the aisles as if that hadn't happened. After all, that's how we'd always lived.

Keeping up my faux emotions on my face was second nature by then. I seemed to be faking my smile constantly. It required no effort nowadays, it didn't even deserve a thought. It was as simple as breathing.

Breathing hadn't always been easy though. I'd woken up a few days before with constricted lungs and a heavy heart. Breaths were few and far between. In-in-in-in-out-in-out-in-in-in- I couldn't move. Not even to squirm. I lay facing up at the ceiling, grasping to life as it's hand grew sweaty.

But then came Korey, as he inevitably did, to help me hold on tighter. To share the load. Since that day I'd felt empty... but I couldn't remember what it was like to be full. I was almost sure I'd once been brimming with emotions, like joy and bliss. Those times had faded like the sunlight above us by then. Now I just had clouds, filled with rain and bitterness.

I existed. But I didn't live. I was a ghost, moving through reality without making a mark. I felt like I was like I was drowning, and everyone around me was breathing.

I'd almost drowned once. When Connor pushed me in a river. But I couldn't remember who'd saved me... It certainly wasn't Korey. He killed me - more and more so everyday.

I was sure I'd been happy with Korey once. But I didn't feel like that now. Everything he did ticked me off. All his ideals were as stupid as a fact. A contrast to my own.

I just didn't know where my new views had come from.

"Cheer up Tyler. I don't need you looking any more ugly for the advert!" Korey exclaimed, a high pitched shriek of laughter following it after a slight delay. This time the guards chuckled too. The lecherous grin Korey gave me once he was done soured my heart so fast I had to turn my head before it broke my false smile.

"I doubt anyone will be looking at me if you're next to me," I said, knowing how to make him ease off my case. I'd been with him for my whole life - I knew him pretty damn well by then.

That was a lie. But we didn't speak about the time I hadn't been with him. I'd went off with mom after Vegas. IT wasn't a long period of time. Connor sold me out when he realised I was a Yokela. I guessed it was for the best. Korey had been searching for me. Because he loved me. And he didn't want to lose me like he lost Monty.