Fickle

Chapter 19

Kulthum stood by the window, staring out at the sprawling city below, the lights twinkling like distant stars. Minnesota felt more like home with every passing day, the cold winters and long summers having become a backdrop to her years of hard work and quiet achievements. It was a life she had built from the ground up—one that was secure, independent, and without the chaos that had once come with loving Abdullah.

The offer to lead the cardiac research initiative still sat on her desk, its presence a constant reminder of the future that awaited her. She had worked her entire life to get to this point, and the recognition was hard-earned. But as she stood there, the soft hum of the city was drowned out by the noise in her head—the noise of her heart.

Could she really take on the mantle of leadership, knowing that it might require more of her time, more of her energy, more of herself than she was ready to give? She had always been a woman who gave everything to her work. It was what had kept her going after the betrayal, after the pain of losing Abdullah, after the loneliness of raising their children without him. But now, with Abdullah back, with their family whole in ways it hadn't been for years, could she afford to keep it all together, balancing her career with the weight of the past?

Her thoughts drifted back to the twins. Hudayfah, the quiet one, always observing, always withdrawing into himself. His soft, cautious demeanor was a reflection of the pain he had internalized over the years of uncertainty, of not knowing his father’s place in his life. And then there was Jenna, who seemed to wear her heart on her sleeve, a wild spirit full of mischief but also capable of incredible tenderness. Kulthum knew the damage the years of Abdullah’s absence had caused them both, even if Jenna didn’t show it as much. Hudayfah, though, he had been marked by it. Could she heal that rift while also pursuing the career of her dreams?

Kulthum closed her eyes, trying to block out the mounting pressure. She had always been able to compartmentalize—her work, her emotions, her family life—each part of her had been a separate entity. But now, with Abdullah reentering her world, with their family trying to pick up the pieces, the lines were blurring, and she wasn’t sure she could handle the weight of it all.

She exhaled slowly, reaching for her phone. A new message from Dr. Jensen popped up: We need to know your decision by tomorrow, Kulthum. Her hand hesitated over the screen, but the silence that enveloped her office pressed down on her like a heavy weight. Could she answer with confidence? Could she take that step toward her career without worrying about what would happen to her family in the process?

The thought of leading the cardiac research initiative was tempting—no, it was exhilarating. It was everything she had worked for, everything she’d dreamed of achieving. But that excitement was met with an equally strong fear: the fear of losing herself in her career once again, of losing touch with the very people who meant the most to her.

Her phone buzzed again—this time, it was a reminder about Hudayfah’s follow-up appointment. His quiet face, the way he always seemed to withdraw when things got too overwhelming, came to her mind. Kulthum had tried her best to shield him from the pain of their broken family, but she knew he had felt it. He had suffered silently through the years without a father’s presence. Could she, in good conscience, leave him to struggle through the aftermath of Abdullah’s return, while also pushing forward with a career that demanded more of her than she could give?

She thought of Jenna too—Jenna, whose mischief was a cover for the hurt she didn’t want to acknowledge. Kulthum had watched her daughter grow into a young woman, all while struggling to fill the gaps left by Abdullah’s absence. Jenna’s wild nature often masked her sensitivity, but Kulthum knew that beneath the surface, Jenna, too, was affected by the years of separation. Could Kulthum be the mother they both needed, or would her devotion to her career only distance her further from them?