Fickle

Chapter 24

The warmth of the bond between Abdullah and Jenna didn't go unnoticed by Hudayfah. Every time he saw his sister leap into Abdullah's arms, her laughter ringing through the house, a small flicker of something—perhaps jealousy, perhaps longing—tugged at his chest. He was old enough to understand the difference between how Jenna and he reacted to their father. But that didn’t make it any easier to watch.

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon when it first became apparent. Hudayfah was sitting at the kitchen table, absentmindedly tracing the rim of his glass with his finger, lost in thought. Jenna and Abdullah were in the living room, playing with building blocks. The sounds of their cheerful voices drifted toward him.

"You’re going to knock it down!" Jenna squealed in laughter, her voice a blend of excitement and challenge. Abdullah's laughter followed.

Hudayfah looked up, staring at the joyful scene from the corner of the kitchen. He didn’t understand why it bothered him so much. Why he couldn't shake the feeling of being left out, of being the silent observer in his own family. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, pretending not to care.

Kulthum, who had been preparing lunch, noticed the look on his face. She set down the knife she was holding and walked over to him.

"Everything okay, Hudayfah?" she asked, her voice gentle but curious.

Hudayfah hesitated, his gaze flickering between his mother and the lively scene in the living room. "I guess."

Kulthum sat down beside him, her eyes filled with understanding. "You’re not mad, are you?" she asked softly.

"I’m not mad," Hudayfah muttered, though the bitterness in his tone suggested otherwise. "It’s just... you know... it's always like that."

"Like what?"

Hudayfah sighed, his fingers still tracing the glass. "Jenna’s always so... happy with him. It’s like she doesn’t care about the things that happened. And I don’t know how to feel about it."

Kulthum’s heart ached at his words. "Hudayfah, it’s not that she doesn't care. She’s just... a different person. She’s younger, and she sees things in a simpler way."

"But I’m not like that, Mama. I can’t just forget everything. I can’t just go along with it like she does."

Kulthum placed a hand on his shoulder, her voice low and soothing. "I know, sweetheart. I know. But you don’t have to do it all at once. It’s okay to feel how you feel. It’s okay to take your time."

Hudayfah didn’t respond right away. Instead, he turned his eyes back to the living room, where Jenna was now sitting on Abdullah's lap, showing him her latest drawing. Abdullah was nodding along, clearly proud of her.

---

Later that afternoon, Jenna skipped over to Hudayfah, her face radiant. "Hudayfah, come play! We’re building a castle! Daddy’s the knight, and I’m the princess. You can be the dragon!"

Hudayfah hesitated, glancing at Abdullah, who smiled at him encouragingly. It was an awkward moment, and the weight of his unresolved feelings hung heavily in the air. Jenna didn’t notice his discomfort as she bounced on her heels, waiting for him to join in.

With a reluctant sigh, Hudayfah got up from the chair, his mind still swirling with doubts. He approached the living room, slowly at first, as though each step required more effort than the last. He stopped just in front of Abdullah and looked at the ground, unwilling to meet his father’s gaze.

Abdullah, sensing his unease, didn’t rush him. Instead, he spoke gently, his tone warm and patient. "Hey, Hudayfah. You’re welcome to join us, you know. You don’t have to be the dragon if you don’t want to. You can be anything you want."