When you think of an assassin, you think of a dark clothed figure who moves with deadly grace. They are like a shadow, stalking through the night, taking souls as they go with nothing more than a blink to show they are even human. They kill for reasons people will never know and you'd be dead before you got close enough to find out.
No one ever describes an assassin as apologetic. So why is it that's exactly what I'm about to do?
"I can't believe I'm doing this" I repeat to myself as I have done all morning. I curse Tadaomi and his infinite sway over my decisions as I make my way out to the front of campus for PE.
It's not until I've walked all the way onto the clearing that I see the unmistakeable flicker of blue that marks Nagisa in the crowd of students lines up for lesson. I squeeze my way between a few people—whose names i should probably know but I don't keep useless information in my head— until I'm stood in front of him.
"Hey" I announce myself and he jumps like lightning just struck him.
"Matsuoka..." he says quietly, his head bowed slightly like he's not sure where to look.
"I wanted to talk to you" I declare and the reluctant feeling my chest only grows when I see how uncomfortable he is. Not because I feel guilty, but more because of how foreign this is to me. My interactions are limited to Tadaomi where I'm receiving orders or my targets where they're receiving my orders. I've said the words 'I'm sorry' before but they were to people I knew or cared about not people my age who I know nothing about nor have any similarities to.
It's not often I find myself in this position.
"What is it?" he asks, finding the nerve to look me straight in the eye and somehow that makes it a little easier.
"I wanted—well I wanted to...." I trail off and Nagisa's brows furrow at my sudden silence.
"...yes?"
Okay, just rip the band aid off.
"Apologise. That's what I wanted to do, I wanted to apologise. To you"
"...you uh... you don't sound sure about that" He enquires looking visibly conflicted and I clear my throat as if it would help me handle this better.
"No, I'm definitely sure I'm supposed to be apologising to you"
"Supposed to be? What do you mean 'supposed to be'?" He echoes before pinching the bridge of his nose in a gesture that i can't tell is frustrated or not. I'm excellent at reading people if I'm observing them for the purpose of assassination but in a conversational setting? I'm not that sure.
"It would help if you explained what you were apologising for" He continues and I feel myself stiffen.
"Is it not obvious?" I say bluntly before remembering I'm supposed to be acting nice "I mean—for making you think you were in terrible danger and about to be skewered by a bed of knives without telling you that wasn't actually going to happen"
"That's...an oddly specific apology" He observes before deflating into a sigh of acceptance "But thank you for saying that"
"No problem" I reply and I find myself feeling oddly satisfied at this conclusion. I certainly hadn't expected to be thanked for making him fear for his life. I'm not sure what Tadaomi was making such a big deal about now, this went pretty well.
"Aren't you going to carry on?" Nagisa gets my attention again and now it's my turn to feel conflicted.
"...with what?"
"Your apology?" He replies as if it's obvious and I find myself looking around as if the answer would reveal itself. Tadaomi never said there was two parts to this.
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To Kill For the Truth (BOOK 1)
Fanfiction~ "That's the problem here. You say you want the truth as if it means the same thing to you as it does to me, but there's a big difference here. I'll kill for the truth" ~ Anri Matsuoka had spent her whole life knowing what she was good at. Killing...
