To Kill For the Truth (BOOK 1)

CHAPTER 10 ~ Jagged Edges

"Your hair looks nice today, Anri"

"Hm?" I turn at the sound of a familiar voice, to see Nagisa beside me "Oh...thanks"

I find myself brushing a hand over the jagged edges of my hair that poke out of the braids I've tried to fashion. Unsurprisingly, having your hair sheared off with someone else's blade doesn't make for good hair styling. Trying to braid it feels like trying to piece together shattered glass with nothing but duct tape. The shape might return but the cracks are still split underneath.

"Your face looks like it hurts, you should put something on it before it scars...I could ask Koro-sensei if he has any remedies-"

"It's fine" I wave away his concerns before they make me feel uncomfortable "it's been three days already, it's halfway healed. No preventing a scar now"

"As long as you're sure...I can't believe you stopped a knife point mugging. In Kyoto of all places. I never thought thieves there would be carrying knives. I guess it was a good job you were there" Nagisa shakes his head disparagingly.

"Yeah...crazy, huh?" I placate him, but I suppose I'm glad the cover is holding. There's only one person in this class who knows what really happened—

"Wait up, you two" I hear a voice approaching us from behind, a familiar self assured voice, and my spine stiffens like lighting struck my body.

"I've gotta run and give some documents to Karasuma, you go on to lunch without me, okay?"

"What—?, Hey Anri, wait—?"

I let Nagisa's words disappear in the whoosh of air I leave in my wake as I hurry out of the campus doors. It's not that I was purposely trying to avoid Karma...it's just that when I saw him the day after our trip to Kyoto, I could just hear every word that fell out of my mouth and with it, the realisation that everything that happened was true. Was real. It was like I had drawn that six year old version of myself out of that dark, moonlit house and now she follows me around, making me feel stuck somewhere in between. Maybe because Karma was the recipient of those memories. Those stories I've kept behind frosted glass in my mind for so long that they feel attached to him now. Like those memories can become sentient and all their dark, ugly, pain can infect him too and return every time I see him.

Like I had reached inside my chest and presented my soul to him for inspection, only for him to find the worst parts of me.

And why did I do it? I keep asking myself. Sure he was mad at me, sure he felt he was owed an explanation for why I didn't turn up when he needed me, but I could've lied. It's second nature to me, just like I explained it: an instinct.

So why did it change it for him?

I suddenly come to the realisation that I've been stewing in my regrets and conclusions for so long I've not been paying attention to where I was going. I look around to find myself at the edge of the path that leads into the forest surrounding campus.

"...oh well" I shrug to myself, feeling the sun on my back and deciding it might even be nice to eat my lunch on my own in the woods.

I don't get to be alone often enough anymore, maybe that's what's making me feel unhinged.

I walk for a few minutes, before I recognise the spot I'm in. I'm standing outside the clearing where I fashioned a trap for Koro-sensei. I see the scene in my head like it's playing out in front of me. The trenches carved in the dirt from where Karma had dug his feet into the ground, trying to hold Nagisa's weight from falling onto the knives below. Karma's shirt, clutched in my fist, the heat of my anger and his eyes staring back at me, unwavering.