Fresco

Refocus

Companion Song: Andromeda by Weyes Blood

It's Monday morning and my stomach is turning in knots as I leave the English seminar. Ringing in my ears is Mr. Mysterious, aka "Vinnie" telling me he'll see me on Monday. What are the chances he'll even be in class? And if he is, that has nothing to do with me. I am focused on my GPA, not some boy who just wants to fuck.

The professor begins to teach about Supply Chain management as I slip into my usual spot at the back of the lecture. Vinnie is nowhere to be seen and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Towards the middle of the class I feel a heavy presence behind me.

"Happy Monday, freshman" Vinnie smirks as he walks past me toward the next row down.

Before I can think I blurt

"Happy Monday, Vinnie"

Vinnie looks back at me with a cold gaze. His stare is intense and daring, almost as if he's looking straight through me. I half expect him to turn back around and ask me where I got his name.

Instead, he slides down next to a girl a few rows in front of me. He drapes his exposed, tattooed arm around her shoulders and she faces him with a smile.

She has long brown hair, straighter than mine, paler skin and glasses. I can see her blushing from my seat.

Vinnie turns his head to look at me with an intense empty look. I try not to give him the satisfaction, but I wear my disappointment clearly on my face. He thumbs the base of her neck and turns back to the front.

My lungs empty as I finally exhale.

Focus focus focus.

________________________________________________________________________________

Back in the room, I throw myself onto my bed. After hours of classes and being tormented by Vinnie parading another girl in front of me, I just need a nap.

My eyes close and I sink deeply into a sleep, hoping he won't continue to torture me in my dreams.

The beeping of my phone alarm is what jolts me awake.

"Oh thank God, I thought I would have to check if you were dead."

Cass's voice rings across the room.

"Not dead, but I wish." I say wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"What?" Cass let's out in a brief laugh

"Oh nothing, just classes have me beat. I'm gonna head to the library, wanna come?"

Now is not the time to debrief about Vinnie. She'll just encourage me to fuck him and I do not need that devil on my shoulder.

"What if I told you I can't come study with you?"

"Oh?" I say slightly shocked

"Patrick invited me to study at his place and I don't know what's up with me, but I said yes."

Cass's cheeks blush a little. I've never seen them do that before.

"What happened to no monogamy, Ms. Maneater?"

"We're not dating or anything. I'm still seeing other people and I'm sure he is too. No NYU soccer player is loyal to just one girl. I don't know, he's just my favorite option right now. I can't seem to shake him." Cass says looking at the floor.

"Listen I get it, you like him. No need to put a label on it, just have fun."

With all my strength I get out of bed and give Cass a hug.

Time to do some studying and hope to God I can get the thoughts of this Vinnie guy out of my head.

Now I know what the emotion that has been consuming me is, it's anger.