Lanterns in the Rain

Chapter Thirteen: Cracks in the Armor

The days following their quiet conversation in the park had felt like a strange, new rhythm—a heartbeat that was both familiar and foreign at the same time. Rae hadn't expected things to change overnight, but there was an undeniable shift between her and Henry. They weren't rushing into anything, and yet, their moments together felt more significant, like small pieces of a puzzle that Rae hadn't been ready to complete, but couldn't resist putting together anyway. 

Henry had been patient with her, never asking for more than she could give, but Rae could feel the weight of his attention. It was both comforting and terrifying, like being wrapped in a blanket that was too warm, too close. It made her want to pull away, but also, for the first time in a long while, she didn't want to. 

But as the weeks went on, Rae began to notice something she couldn't ignore—the distance she had always kept between herself and others was starting to crack, and the fear that had always been her shield was beginning to feel like a burden she could no longer carry alone. 

One afternoon, the air was thick with tension as Rae sat in the school cafeteria, her tray of untouched food in front of her. Henry had been quieter than usual lately, and though they had shared a few passing glances in the halls, it was as though something was holding him back. It wasn't like the usual easy silence they shared; this felt different, more uncertain, like something had shifted, and neither of them knew how to move forward. 

Rae glanced up from her food, her eyes searching the room until they landed on him. Henry was at the other end of the cafeteria, sitting with a group of his friends, his expression distant. Rae felt a knot tighten in her chest. She had been trying to ignore it—the small changes in Henry's behavior, the way he had started to withdraw—but she couldn't pretend any longer. 

With a quiet sigh, she pushed her tray aside and stood, gathering her things. She hadn't planned on doing anything about it—after all, what could she do?—but the tension between them was too much to ignore. 

She made her way toward the exit, her footsteps slow, but purposeful. She wasn't sure what she was hoping for—an answer, a conversation, or maybe just a chance to understand what had changed. 

As she neared the door, she almost collided with someone. Startled, she looked up to find Henry standing right in front of her. He looked surprised to see her, but there was something else in his eyes—a guardedness that hadn't been there before. 

"Hey," he said, his voice soft but distant. 

Rae paused, studying his face. "Hey." 

There was a moment of silence, a strange, awkward energy that hung between them. Rae shifted from foot to foot, unsure of what to say. 

"I've been meaning to talk to you," Henry finally spoke, his voice hesitant. "About... everything." 

Rae's heart skipped, her thoughts scattering. "Okay," she said, keeping her tone calm, though she could feel the tension rising in her chest. 

Henry ran a hand through his hair, looking down for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "I don't want to complicate things between us. I just..." He paused, clearly struggling to find the right words. "I've noticed you pulling away lately, and I don't know why." 

Rae felt the sting of his words, but she couldn't deny that he was right. She had been pulling away. She had been retreating into herself, unable to handle the closeness they had started to share. She had told herself it was easier that way—to stay distant, to keep her emotions under control—but now she wasn't so sure. 

"I didn't mean to," she said quietly, her voice shaky. "It's just... I'm not used to this. I'm not used to letting anyone get this close, and it's scaring me." 

Henry's expression softened, and he stepped closer, though he didn't quite reach for her. "You don't have to be scared of me, Rae. I'm not going anywhere." 

The reassurance in his voice sent a wave of emotion through her, but Rae pushed it down. She couldn't let herself believe that things would stay the same. They never did. 

"I know," she whispered, but the words felt empty. "But I'm scared of what happens if I let you in. I'm scared of what I might lose." 

Henry took a step closer, his voice gentle but firm. "You don't have to lose anything. You don't have to give me anything you're not ready to." He paused, his eyes searching hers. "But I don't want to lose you, Rae. I don't want to see you pull away when I'm right here." 

For a moment, the world felt suspended, frozen in that space between them. Rae's breath caught in her throat. She could feel the walls inside her cracking, and for the first time in ages, she wondered if maybe, just maybe, it was okay to let someone in. 

But just as she was about to speak, the bell rang, loud and jarring, breaking the fragile moment. Henry stepped back, a soft sigh escaping his lips. 

"We'll talk more later, okay?" he said, his voice quieter now. 

Rae nodded, her throat tight. "Yeah. Later." 

She turned and walked out of the cafeteria, her thoughts a whirlwind of confusion and fear. As much as she wanted to lean into the warmth Henry offered, she still wasn't sure if she could let go of the walls she'd built. The walls that had always kept her safe. 

But she was beginning to realize that maybe, just maybe, those walls weren't protecting her anymore. They were keeping her from something she wasn't sure she was ready to face. 

And that terrified her.