Disclosure

Cold Feet

*The Next Day*
September 7
Onika Maraj POV

"I'm here I'm sorry!" I burst into my living room where I knew my husband would be waiting. Not only was he waiting, but he looked pissed as fuck. I had hauled ass to get here, brushing my teeth and trying to get Beyoncé's dna off of me but I was still late as hell.

"I am so sorry. We can still make the appointment." I checked my phone and saw it was 10:22.

"The appointment? You gonna act like you didn't just walk in my house looking like you been partying all night?" He stood up.

"I haven't... I was nervous about the appointment Xavier.. I thought I could just get a little space to clear my head so I booked a room and put my phone away. I never intended to stay away so long I just overslept babe." I tried my best to lie, it didn't add up entirely but it was the best I could gather on my way over here. My brief stint in acting school was going to have to pay off in this moment.

"That doesn't even sound like you man." He told me.

"Well I haven't exactly been myself lately but you wouldn't know that would you?" I retorted. He sighed.

"Why leave? I mean that doesn't make sense to me."

"Because i'm scared Xavier. Do you not realize this could be our final chance to have a baby?" My eyes began to water up. This part, unfortunately, was not an act.

"I realize that. That's why we're supposed to be in this together. I came home to a damn empty house Onika. I was worried!" He yelled at me loudly, making me jump before he piped down.

"Is that really all it was? A little cold feet? Now is your opportunity to tell me if you really still want this or not. If you still want our marriage." He candidly admitted. He was giving me an out that I was not expecting. The sudden offer stunned me to silence. Crazy thing is I almost told him No, I do not want this anymore, but I couldn't actually do it. I had been acting like a delusional college girl with Beyoncé and I knew that throwing my marriage away for a fairytale would be greatly irresponsible. Besides even if I didn't want my marriage anymore, I still wanted this baby and this was possibly my last chance to have it.

"If we leave right now we can still make it to our appointment... that's my answer." I told him before he hugged me.

*******

"Mrs. Harris I think you're a great candidate for ivf. I actually can't find any real physical reason why your previous pregnancies haven't lasted. You have a good egg count for your age and your ovaries are in great condition." She shrugged with a confused look on her face. She then turned to Xavier.

"Mr. Harris have you had a sperm sample tested back in New York?" She asked him while through our charts. This was the first doctor we had seen while being in Louisiana.

"My sperm is fine." He laughed and crossed his arms. Men.

"I'm sure it is. It's just standard procedure in cases like this where there are no obvious physical reasons for the woman of why the pregnancies aren't taking." She smiled reassuringly.

"Babe it can't hurt. Please?" I begged him.

"Alright Alright." He reluctantly answered.

"Can I see you back here tomorrow? I should have a definitive answer on when we can begin the process after checking your husband's sperm count."

"Yes of course." I smiled, finally hopeful. I was just happy I wasn't a lost cause. Physically, she said I was fine just like every other doctor so I wasn't sure why the hell I kept having miscarriages or just not being able to get pregnant at all.