One Final Wish

Chapter Four

Carson's P.O.V.

"Are you okay?" Julia said getting into the car.

"I'm fine Julia I just don't feel talking right now okay" I snapped. Julia sighed as she rest her back on the car seat folding her arms and looked through the window.

"I'm sorry babe. I'm just tired" I sighed resting my hand on her knee. She looked to me and gave me a smile then she looked away. I sighed and start the car

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We finally arrived in front of Julia's house. Not a single word was spoken throughout the journey. I stopped the car and looked to Julia who is getting her bag and opening the door.

"Babe?" I said then she turned to me. "I'm sorry" She smiled at me. She brought her hand to my cheek then she leaned in and gave me a kiss.

"I understand" She smiles. "See you tomorrow. I love you!" she said getting out of the car.

"I love you too babe" i said loudly. I waited for her to get into the house before starting the car.

My mind's not thinking straight tonight and I need something to get out of my thoughts. My thoughts about my little sister being sick, my little sister in pain, my little sister going to die. All those thoughts about my little sister and her stupid leukemia. I want to forget them all.

I drove to the nearest pub. I don't care who sees me and I don't care about the paps. I just want to get away from my thoughts. I walked in and saw only two people are in. Perfect. I went over to the bar and ordered 2 bottles of beer. The bartender didn't recognize me either. He gave me 2 bottles of beer and then he left. I grab the bottle and drank it straight clearing up the contents. I glanced at my phone to see that it's already midnight. I grabbed another bottle and drank it straight. I called out for the bartender and ordered 2 more bottles. He gave it to me and this time he spoke to me.

"Everything alright here Mister?" he asked wiping the counter.

"Yeah I'm fine just need a little drink." I chuckled. He just shrug and left. I grabbed my third bottle and drank it straight this time i'm feeling a little tipsy. I stared in to space not really knowing what to feel. I want to cry because my little sister is suffering because of that f*cking leukemia. I want to be angry because why did it have to be her? Why didn't have to be me?she's too young. She still have a lot of goals she wants to accomplish. I drank half of my fourth bottle and payed for it. I got up from my sit and walked out of the pub. What the hell?!. There were flashes of cameras right in front of me. I just looked at the ground and struggle to walk through them hearing there stupid questions.

Carson why were you in the hospital earlier? What are you doing there with Julia? Why are you inside of the pub in the middle of the night?

Finally I got in the car.I start the car immediately and drove home.

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I opened the door and stepped in to the house. It's very quiet. I threw my keys on the couch and walked slowly to the kitchen not even turning the lights on. I opened the top cabinet and grab a bottle of wine. I'm not really contented on what i drank earlier. I opened the bottle and drank straight from it. I sat down on the chair and put the bottle on top of the table. I stared in space for a long time before drinking again. i somehow realize that i was crying. Why did it have to be her? I keep repeating this question over and over in my head but obviously I couldn't find the answer. I glanced at my phone to see that it's one in the morning. I've got 2 messages one from Julia

Hey babe, just saying goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow okay?Xx I hope Carter will be fine soon Xx I love you <3Xxx

and the other from Carter.

Hey big bro, did I wake u up?Xx Sorry i can't sleep just want to know if you're okay Xx Hope you are fine! love you Xxx Hugs and Kisses x C. Xx

I smiled on her text message and replied to it

I'm fine little red and no u didn't wake me up.I'm already awake Xx I can't sleep too Xx

I hit send and put my phone on the table and grabbed the bottle of wine and drank it. Few seconds past my phone buzzed. I looked over it to see that it's a message from Carter. Why is she still awake at this time?.

Oh. What are u doing?Xx

Staring at the ceiling Xx You why aren't u sleeping yet? Xx How's mam?

Few seconds and my phone buzzed again

While texting Hahaha :P Xx I'm already sleepy xx Mam's okay she's asleep now :)

Go to sleep now Xx I'm going to sleep too Xx Goodnyt little red Xxxx

Gudnyt big bro Xxxx

I drank the remaining contents of the bottle and rest my head on the table. I started crying thinking how can I live without her. But I gotta be strong for her. But i don't know how long can I.

I got up and struggle to go up in my room without falling. I'm not myself tonight, I just want to hit something. Finally i got onto my room. I stood up at the doorway for a long time. I saw the picture frames, figurines on top of the cabinet and just throw them all to the floor making them break into pieces. I walked in and saw the lamp beside my bed. I grabbed it and threw it across the room. I turned around and looked myself in the mirror. I walked closer and just stared at it. I threw my fist on to the mirror making them fall on to peices. Now my fist is bleeding and I don't care about the pain. I sat on the corner of the room resting my head on my knees crying. I stayed like that until I drift off to sleep.