Writings

Chris ❤️‍🩹

Falling in love at seventeen years old with him was nothing short of magical.

The way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way his eyes crinkled whenever he saw babies. He was the definition of perfection.

Christmas Eve 2005 was our six month anniversary as a couple. It already felt like a lifetime.

The way he held me, kissed me, told me his deepest secrets... he was my favorite person.

"Chris, it's cold," I shivered against the strong wind as we walked in fresh snow out to the parking lot where his car was. Chris smiled. "It's supposed to be cold, Emily."

I scrunched up my nose at him and he grabbed my hand. "Look! There's an iced over lake! We can put on our skates and go skating before we head home to your grandmas!"

"Chris, you didn't actually bring skates did you?" I was met with a laugh. "Check my backpack."

Sure enough, two pairs of skates were in his bag. We tied our laces and spent the night out on the lake, skating together under the moonlight of a frosted white Christmas.

In and out, in and out, we spun. He moved with such elegance that I was blown away. He only smiled and spun us faster and faster. We had made a figure eight.

The drive back to my grandma Ellen's was spent listening to Christmas music and talking about our plans after we graduated high school next year. Chris mentioned that he wanted to marry me. I blushed and didn't say anything.

Christmas at Grandma Ellen's was my favorite tradition growing up. When I was younger, my parents and my brother, our aunts and our uncles and our cousins, and friends, would come to Grandma's house to spend the night and wake up on Christmas to open presents and the kids would play in the snow. Our aunts and uncles and cousins never came around anymore, preferring to stay home. Friends didn't either.

This time, my brother and I were orphans. He was nineteen and had a girlfriend with a baby on the way. Our parents died in a plane crash earlier that year. My brother, James, and his girlfriend, Kelley, lived with Grandma Ellen. I lived with Chris and his parents. Chris was an only child. He was also adopted so he never knew his biological parents.

Grandma Ellen wrapped Chris and I in a big loving hug, kissing our cold cheeks softly. "There's turkey and potatoes and green peas in the kitchen ready to be served. Kelley made her amazing apple pie. Y'all come in and join in on the fun!"

That night, Chris read "the night before Christmas" as we ate cookies and hung our stockings.
Waking up on Christmas morning with Chris beside me is a memory I will treasure forever.

The next spring, Kelley had her baby, a boy. He was named after my dad Kyle. Kyle was adorable with his chubby cheeks and bright red hair. The next week, James proposed to her. Chris loved my nephew. He was always the type of guy who was a softie around babies.

A day after the wedding, Chris and I got into a car accident. We flipped several times. The EMT team said Chris didn't survive.

That Christmas Eve 2005, we skated and skated till our noses turned red and our hands were frozen. Chris' laughter remains in my mind as nothing more than a memory. He lives in my heart forever.