Taking A Chance On Love || m.t.✔️

十九 Surprise

The morning of the 17th day since I impulsively left South Korea started out just like the previous ones. After about a week of my parents tiptoeing around me and staying in the house at all hours, I felt bad enough to force them out to do their own things. It was a struggle getting them to take time for themselves, but eventually I started having the house to myself most mornings hence. This day started the same way. I lazily rolled around in bed, enjoying the mid-morning sun streaming through the gauzy curtains of my childhood bedroom. Once I gathered the energy, I went downstairs to root through the kitchen cupboards for sustenance. Feeling up for some culinary shenanigans, I broke out the flour and rolling pin to make noodles from scratch, combining it with a sauce I made before simmering them together. Making enough for 3 plus more in case anyone wanted seconds, I took my share and covered the rest to keep it warm for my parents when they got back from whatever they were up to.

Looking around for a place to sit, I opted for the screened-in back porch since it was a warm day, a light breeze in the air. I sat with my bowl on one of the upholstered wicker chairs. Savoring the taste of fresh ingredients as the scent of the blooming gardenias wafted around me with each breeze, I took longer than usual to eat, choosing to soak in the sunlight and the view of the distant golf course behind our house. A turtle swam happily in the L-shaped pond separating our land from our left side neighbors and the golf course, while a goose unfurled its wings on the edge, also soaking up the sun and drying its feathers after a swim. I laughed at how comical it looked as it stood completely still for several minutes, moving only to preen occasionally. I sat enjoying the view for a while before getting up reluctantly to head inside and wash the dishes.

Once the last dish was put away, I was about to head back to the backyard and continue nature watching, this time armed with my crochet project bag. Before I could head upstairs for my yarn and hooks, I was stopped by the sound of a doorbell. Pausing quizzically, I wondered for a moment if my parents were expecting company. The doorbell rang again, so I turned around and headed for the door. I peered through the peephole to see who it was. Recognizing the figure, my entire body went rigid as if I was rooted to my spot.

It's him.

Mark had come, he was here. My emotions were a roiling, unintelligible mess while my mind had somehow gone completely blank. The doorbell sounded again followed by a knock on the door, jarring me out of my momentary stupor. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to open the door, but part of me was still absolutely terrified of what he had to say. I reached a shaky hand toward the lock, but stopped just as my hand touched the cool metal. Staring down at the lock, I willed myself to turn it, yet the battle between my mind and my heart was still at a deadlock.

"Essie? Are you there?" I heard Mark say from behind the door.

The sound of his voice was so unexpected that I let out a small involuntary cry, suddenly missing him more in that moment than I had since I left. He must have heard it through the door, because he continued speaking.

"I know you're there, please open up. I...we...need to talk." Mark said.

I shook my head, taking a step back from the door, letting my hand slip off the lock as I did so. I wasn't ready to talk. It sounded so ominous that all I wanted to do was continue delaying the inevitable.

"Essie...please. I need to see you. I have something I really need to say. Please just...open the door? I miss you," Mark pleaded.

He missed me? Perhaps...perhaps the talk wouldn't be what I was dreading?

Bolstered by sudden hope, I took a deep breath and another step before firmly unlocking the door and swinging it open before I could chicken out again. I was greeted by the image of my nightly dreams: my husband, standing right in front of me with a smile. I took in his clearly travel-worn appearance. He looked absolutely exhausted, and yet there was a determination in his eyes that startled me. Instead of grim determination, it was hope that made his eyes sparkle brighter than the late morning sun. I frowned, trying to keep my flooding emotions at bay. I wanted to cry, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to have his arms wrapped around me once again. But I also wanted to scream, I wanted to push him away, and I wanted to close the door and lock it in his face. My uncertain yet strong emotions were fighting their way to my face, both sides locked in a war for dominance. Unable to process anything, I stood there, hand on the doorknob, and closed my eyes tightly as I bent my head down to face the ground. It was difficult, so very difficult. I tried to tamp down everything as much as I could, schooling my face into a more neutral expression before opening my eyes and looking up. I faced his gaze head on, albeit with difficulty. 

"You...wanted to talk?" I asked quietly, forced calm injected into my voice.

"Yeah," he breathed out, pausing uncertainly before continuing. "Can I come in?"

I nodded, stepping out of the way so he could enter. I closed and locked the door behind us and led him to the living room. Before he sat down, he stopped as if remembering something and held up the paper bag in his hand.

"Oh, um...I brought those buns you like," he said with a tiny smile.

I glanced at it, registering the familiar sticker logo on the bag. Suddenly I was reminded of the morning after we met when I opened the door to Mark, who was holding bread from the small bakery I loved. Both then and now, it took staying in line for several minutes, usually an hour, just to get them in the morning. That meant Mark had done the same thing he did that day and queued up just to get me something I liked. I pursed my lips and looked away, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. I quickly walked to the sliding door leading out to the back porch, unlocking it and stepping outside to take in a desperate gulp of fresh air as a lump began to form in my throat. Mark followed me outside.

"Are you okay? What can I do?" He asked in concern.

I breathed out slowly before shaking my head.

"I'm fine. Let's talk out here," I said, gesturing to the patio furniture on the back porch.

Mark nodded, waiting for me to take a seat before settling right next to me on the loveseat. There was a short stretch of silence as we both looked out at the scenery before Mark spoke up.

"I'm going to get right to the point, not wasting any more time," he began as my stomach flipped in apprehension.

I nodded while staring straight ahead, steeling myself for what was coming.

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Mochi's Musings:

I know, I know, it's short but I have a reason! This scene was getting too long so I had to break it up! You'll like the next chapter, I promise. But to make you feel better, I can say with almost complete certainty that there's maybe about 4-5 chapters left until this book is complete!

BTW, the description of the backyard is basically my own, right down to the L-shaped pond and the goose lol. There's a goose that's always sunning its feathers like clockwork every day outside on the banks of the pond, it's so funny! I've added a photo in the media box above. It's from afar because I didn't want to startle it, so you may need to zoom in.

Also, I have an upcoming short story (less than 10 chapters) that I will be publishing right after I mark this story as complete, so please look out for it! I might post that one quicker than this (2-3 times a week hopefully) to make up for abandoning this story for so long before finishing it.