Dhar Mann x BSD Collab

Little Shrimp Joins Mafia (What happens next will shock you!)

Cowritten with @notgrace_y

Sharise: Yo homie! Do you wanna go do drugs! (gang sign four)

Chuuya: Nah bro! (puts on sunglasses) drugs are for LOSERS (L sign then thumbs down)

Sharise: Ugh! You're so uncool this is why you're 4'11 (pushes aggressively)

And then they fight Dhar Mann Style

Dazai walks in and starts stripping and kicks Sharise

Dazai: Hey, Man- that guy was SO uncool wanna hang with me and my gang? We dont do drugs because real friends don't peer pressure (thumbs up)

Chuuya: No way hose (thumbs down) unlike you, I stick to myself, i guess you could call me a...lone wolf (tucks hair behind ear)

Dazai: W- wow....thats....really cool....(blushes aggressively)

Mori comes up

Mori: Dazai you cant be talking to this HOE BAG! He's 4'11 we only chill with people over 5'0 (flips hair)

Dazai: Sigh....you're right Mori...I would never be a slut like that

Chuuya: (rolls his eyes because he knows he doesnt need impress people like MORI)

(Time passes and the Port Mafia begins struggling as a secret assassin begins to kill everyone)

Mori: How are we going to beat this french guy? He's unstoppable (sighs dejectedly)

Dazai: I- I dont know....

Verlaine: HEY SLUTS!!! (He pulls out a gun) Imma kill you

Dazai: OH NO!!! (cries)

Mori: (shivers in fear)

Then...suddenly...verlaine dies

Mori: W- who killed him?

Chuuya: It was me. (Puts on hat)

Mori: I- I thought all you did was pole dance and do drugs!

Chuuya:Well...

I escaped a lab and found a street gang...I grew up with them and they always tried to get me to be a prostitute and do cocaine but I always said no. When I would try to buy jumbo tampons at the store people would always think I was using it to plug my vagnia since the normal ones don't fit because I'm a slut. But in reality...they were for my friends...I dont have a vagina. People always think I love crystal meth, but I'm not like my best bro walter white.

So you see, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, looks can be deceiving.

Mori: Wow...I didnt know you were going through that

Chuuya: (Struts away)

Dazai: (grabs his waist) "Wow- its so small, I almost couldn't see it....

Chuuya: (blushes)

Dazai: Join the mafia....please...I love you

Chuuya: No, he underestimated me and I know my worth.

Dazai: Dont worry about that hoe (pulls out a glock and shoots Mori) Problem solved

(Dhar Mann Voiceover)

Months later, Dazai and Chuuya began dating but didnt have sex because you shouldnt do tha until marriage, Dazai revealed that hes actually a slut, but he went to bible camp with his buckaroo Fyodor and got baptized and repented. They ruled the mafia together and were super rich but didnt do drugs.