Your Majesty,

Release the guilt

As she lay there, groggy, achey, dusty and spitting pieces of nasty hay out of her mouth— she wondered if her world changed.

Opening her eyes, to seeing only darkness now, she was not alarmed. She was disappointed.

No of course she wouldn't just miraculously wake up in a warm enchanting bedroom catered to her every need.

No she was beginning to realize how cruel the world can be and she again pondered on if saving her sister really mattered to her anymore- when she could hardly save herself.

Now realizing the reality of the situation, staring in the darkness of her prison cell... she noted shifting gleams of light from— possibly her own imagination or dust particles across her eyes.

The old man never talked to her again, she wondered if he got some type of plea deal while she was knocked out. It was clearly night time now...

She could hear the faint sound of crickets chirping outside, out in the grass.

She could've been tasting freedom if she hadn't let her emotions get the best of her, this surely couldn't have been her fate. Surely, her own stupidness could not doom her to the limitation of this, forever... right?

She didn't want to know what was worse. So she sat here in her dark cell, leaning against one of the walls. She didn't even know which one.

She was forced into a situation to face herself and her decisions, the reality of life... what to contemplate of it and how she ended up here.

Something wasn't connecting, she thought as a loyal sister, she thought her job was to help save the day? So why did life make her end up here, why didn't life want her to be successful?

Why did she think that life owed her or her sister anything? What was really haunting her now, is that she just really wanted to blame that one man... and yet she still didn't even have the full story.

She felt robbed of so many things.

Surely, she could still somehow believe in hope & faith to save her day? She thought back to the old man and to how long he had genuinely been here... she tried not to think of the worse case scenario to spare herself the torture. She had done enough to herself with her own thoughts, she decided it was time to diet but only her thoughts.

As she stated in the utter darkness and after hours of what seemed like endless sobbing... she came to terms with her position in life.

She needed to decide, this honestly wasn't the first time she had been captured and held captive. The last time a bad situation had turned worse because she panicked thinking of spending time with others- only deepening her consequences with those who had locked her up. Her emotional outbursts had cost her a lot in life. Mostly her freedom and she already didn't trust anyone, she wondered if this was her curse to bear alone?

And maybe this was her sisters, maybe it was never her job to ever try to save anyone else because of how much it costs her of her own life....

But how else does she sleep at night? If not for the steam getting beat out of her till she is completely knocked out?

She pondered... Perhaps, the situation wouldn't naturally change until she had made a decision.

A decision of change, and in the past she was constantly throwing herself into her own damage... perhaps this was a pride thing? Maybe she thought she was better than everyone and could do what they couldn't, so this was the consequence that surely life was humbling her about... this had to be it.