Peter and Brian in Tampering With Nature

Breakfast Mayhem

The post arrived at 62 West Wallaby Street and Gromit went to collect it. He saw it was mostly bills. The only thing that wasn't a bill was a flyer. It was a flyer that was advertising Rye Armstrong's Quick Grow Muscle Formula and it had a muscular man posing on it.

Gromit just scoffed at the flyer. "We need more brains around this town, not more muscles. What's this company's intention, to attract money or women?" Then he thought more of it and reconsidered. "On second thoughts, if this does attract women..."

Then the buzzer in the dining room went off.

"Breakfast time, Gromit!" Wallace called from his bedroom.

Gromit decided to just put the flyer in the bin and pulled the lever down. Then Wallace came down through the trap door from his bedroom and landed in his chair by the table and got dressed by the dress-o-matic.

"Your turn to make breakfast this morning, Gromit," Wallace said. "I'll have eggs, toast and honey. Now, get a (bleep) move on. I'm (bleep) starving." Then he started to wail like a baby. A very big baby that could be the offspring of a giant.

Gromit sighed. "Sure thing, Wallace. And, while I'm busy slaving away in the kitchen, maybe something will keep you occupied."

Wallace stopped crying and quickly became excited. "Oh, goody, goody, goody! Is it any of those pictures that need colouring-in?"

"No, Wallace," Gromit replied. "You used them up for your paper invention, remember? The paper-jam-o-matic? Which was a complete and utter failure?"

"I did remember it, Gromit," Wallace said. "But I wouldn't call it a failure because those papers made out of jam were delicious."

"Maybe there were delicious to you, but they certainly were not to me," Gromit said.

"Is it any toys to play with?" Wallace asked.

"They blew up when you tried to bring them to life after seeing Toy Story," Gromit told him.

"Not just Toy Story," Wallace said. "Also, Small Soldiers, Winnie the Pooh and his friends, The Lego Movie, Playmobil: the Movie, UglyDolls and –"

"Okay, Wallace, I get it," Gromit interrupted. "My point is that you have no toys left to play with."

"Then I guess I'll have to rock my chair." Wallace started to do it.

"No, Wallace!" Gromit snapped. "Do not rock your chair! Don't you remember what happened what you invented that Rock-A-Chair-O-Matic?"

Neither Wallace nor Gromit could ever forget about the time when Wallace tried to invent a rocking chair that would rock harder and faster than an ordinary one in their basement. When Wallace made his volunteer Gromit – forced volunteer, that was – sit in the chair and tried it at the slowest speed, it was still very hard and rough. Gromit didn't want to try the other faster speeds, but Wallace insisted and kept speeding it up and didn't stop until it reached its maximum speed. That only caused Gromit to fly and crash into the brick wall.

"Wow, Gromit!" Wallace cried. "You can fly? I didn't know you were the superhero Underdog all this time."

"Well, what can I do while I wait for my breakfast?" Wallace demanded.

"How about looking at today's post?" Gromit suggested.

Wallace looked excited when he saw his loyal dog put the letters on the table. "I hope it's a postcard from a long-lost distant cousin or a letter that has advice on how to be healthy without doing exercise or eating healthy food or a surprise parcel with a surprise something in it or a leaflet about a charity event who only wants money and doesn't care about the mission they support at all."