Peter and Brian in Tampering With Nature

Failed Businesses

Even though Wallace had the breakfast that he wanted and everything about it was delicious, it still wasn't enough to cheer him up because of all the ton of bills he had to pay.

"We have so many bills to pay, Gromit," Wallace said. "And we tried everything we could to make money and they all failed. I still don't know why our Galactic Tours failed."

A few months ago, Wallace and Gromit opened one of their new businesses, which they called Galactic Tours. They would put passengers in their orange moon rocket and then they would take them into space and show them many planets. The detestations that were advertised for this business included Tatoonine, Hoth, Endor, Naboo, Coruscant, Vulcan, Klingon, Krypton, Arrakis and the Twelve Colonies of Mankind among them. Sadly, the business was a complete and utter failure.

"You want to know why it didn't work, Wallace?" Gromit asked. "Because all those planets you used to advertise our Galactic Tours business are fictional! They don't exist in real life! We didn't use real planets, like Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune –"

"And Janus and Apollo and Sol and Diana and –"

"Wallace, those aren't planets," Gromit said. "Those are just Roman Gods."

"Well, the planet names you just used as Roman God names," Wallace said. "See, I know my Ancient Rome."

"Then why don't you write a book or make a movie or TV documentary of it, if you're the ultimate expert of the subject?" Gromit said sarcastically. "Besides, we still owe Ratchet and Clank for their services for that business."

While they were trying to get that space business off the ground, Wallace and Gromit hired Ratchet and Clank to come to 62 West Wallaby Street help them modify their orange rocket for the job.

"I paid them in nuts and bolts," Wallace said. "That's how they buy their new weapons and gadgets and upgrades and everything, right?"

"The nuts and bolts you gave them were too rusty," Gromit said. "In fact, they were so rusty that they were too rusty for a museum of rusty stuff. And do you remember, Wallace, when we tried to sell our Soccamatic and no football team wanted it?" Gromit said. "Not even the cheerily, friendly, optimistic Ted Lasso wanted it."

Wallace and Gromit once tried to sell their Soccamatic to any football team they could find, but none of them were desperate for it, let alone interested in. Even AFC Richmond and its coach Ted Lass couldn't accept it, especially after the demonstration they gave to the team.

When Wallace and Gromit tried to demonstrate their Soccamatic to the team, the balls went flying off everywhere on the field and all the coaches and the players could do was just kept running and ducking around to avoid getting hit by them.

"Woah!" cried Ted.

"Jesus!" cried Coach Beard.

"Bloody hell!" cried Nate Shelley.

"What the (bleep)!" yelled Roy Kent.

"What's the bloody 'Off' switch?" yelled Jamie Tartt.

The balls even went as high as the window of the office of the owner of AFC Richmond, Rebecca Welton, and it got shattered by a few of those balls. She appeared by the broken window.

"TED!" she angrily roared. "What the (bleep) is going on?"

"So, what do you think, Mr. Lasso?" Wallace asked.