Grunkle Fidds (-A Fiddlestan Fic-)

The Inconveniencing

A/N: So, it first I wasn't gonna do this episode, but then I remembered...

"It's just like my life!
... In a way."

Also, spot the crossover!

Fiddleford was outside the Shack, answering a lavender-haired girl's questions.

"Where did all this stuff come from?"

"Well, tha' depends. Some of it was found in the woods, some of it by the lake, an' some of it up tha' hill over yonder."

"How did you find it?"

"Well, tha's my husban's job."

"Oh! You have a husband?"

"Yep!"

"Cool! My girlfriend's over there!" She pointed at a girl with brown hair, who was stood with... a dog wearing a skull?

She saw her girlfriend pointing and waved.

"Amity! Get over here!"

The girl - Amity - waved at Fiddleford. "Thank you, sir!"

He smiled, then jumped as something heavy was thrown onto his back.

Ah, yes.
His husband.

"Fiiiidds," He whined.

"Yes, pumpkin?"

"I'm bored. Ya wanna get outta here?"

"Stan, the kids're in the house, and the Shack's open!"

"Not forever! This woman keeps giving me the stink eye and I think she's my ex!"

"Stan, if yer bored, ya don' gotta lie."

"I'm serious! She looks just like the woman I married in Vegas years ago!"

"Merilyn?"

"Yeah! See, over there, with that weird dog thing!"

He pointed to the grey haired woman, over talking to Amity, her girlfriend and the skull dog.

"Alright. Wanna head to the store and see if she's gone when we're back?"

"Yeah, lemme just let Soos and Wendy know."

The couple walked into the Mystery Shack.

"Soos! Wendy!" Stan barked.

The pair ran up to him.

"What's up, Mr Pineses?"

"We're headin' out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?"

"Yes, sirs!" Soos saluted.

"Absolutely not!" Wendy saluted.

Stan laughed, arm around his husband's waist. "You stay outta trouble!"

The pair stepped outside.

"Stanley!" Merilyn called out.

"Smoke bomb!" Stan yelled, throwing one to the ground and dragging Fidds away with him.

"That motherfucker..." Eda whispered as he drove away.

(-That Night-)

Stanley was on the couch, Fiddleford asleep on his chest, watching TV.

"You're watching the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel!"

"Kids! I can't see the remote and I can't stand up!" He called.

"Stay tuned for the Friday night movie, The Duchess Approves. Starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as 'The Duchess' and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain 'Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire'!"

"KIDS!"

The movie began.

"No! NOOOO!"

(-30 minutes later-)

Fiddleford woke up to water dripping on his face.

"Eh...? Stan?"

Stan sniffed above him.

"Stan, are ya cryin', darlin'?"

"It's nothin'! I-I got dust in my eyes!"

Fidds looked at the black and white movie on the TV.

"Are ya cryin' over a movie?"

"N-No!"

Fiddleford raised his eyebrow.

Stan burst into tears.

"They killed off Duke Gonnadye!" He cried.

"I... know?" He comforted, patting his back. "Wan' me t'find the remote?"

He shook his head, barely.

"Whaddabout ice cream an' a blanket?"

Stan nodded.

(-25 minutes later-)

"I don't care about Dukes, or Commoners, or His Royal Highness Lionel of Cornwall! I'm not afraid anymore, Mother!" The Duchess argued.

"Duchess, I forbid you." Her mother replied.

Stan and Fidds each took a spoonful of ice cream, eyes glued to the screen, vaguely away of something ringing in the distance.

"I may be a Duchess. But - I'm also a woman!" She tore off her hat, allowing her long, beautiful hair to flow in the wind.

"Woohoo! In yer face, Elizabeth!" Fiddleford cheered.

His husband burst into tears.

"It's just like my life! ... In a way."

(---)

"Ah, the wedding. We've waited so long for this. Oh, look at her in that dress!" Stanley narrated.

The door opened, and the married couple (and TV characters) gasped.

"Count Lionel? What's 'e doin' 'ere?!" Fiddleford asked.

"I've come to reclaim my bride!"

"You had your chance at the cotillion, you!" Stan shouted.

"You had your chance at the cotillion, you!" Sir Randonam shouted.

"That's what I'm saying!"

Stan roared in frustration and - before either of them knew what was happening - he threw the TV out of the window.

The couple looked outside and saw Dipper and Mabel, stood in confusion infront of the smashed device.

"Uh... couldn't find the remote." Stan explained lamely.

A/N (again): Sorry for the short chapter, there wasn't much I could do with this episode.
I'm gonna skip Dipper vs Manliness because it's a mid episode and I can't really put Fidds in there.

Next up: Double Dipper!