Grunkle Fidds (-A Fiddlestan Fic-)

Little Dipper

TW: Mentions of self harm.

A/N: This has got to be one of my favourite episodes because I relate to Mabel so much. I'm exactly a millimeter taller than both my sister and my best friend.
I'm the Alpha Twin!!!
>>>:]

Fiddleford McGucket-Pines sat on the armchair with Stanley and the twins watching Ducktective.

"You've gone too far this time, Ducktective!" The constable scolded the bird, who quacked in reply.

The door bell rung, and Stan stood up with a groan.

Fidds heard his husband say, "Welcome to a world of mystery!"

"Stan Pines-McGucket?"

"The tax collector! You found me!"

Fiddleford heard him throw down a smoke bomb before running into the room. He threw away a painting to reveal a duffle bag of money, and threw his husband over his shoulder.

"Wha-?! Stan!"

"Which one of these is the trapdoor?" Stan asked, feeling the tiles behind the chair.

By then, the man had walked into the house.

"Mr Pines-McGucket. I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest, and you are our biiiiiiig winner!" The man cheered.

Stan lowered his husband back to the ground as a cameraman walked into the room, followed by two women carrying a giant cheque for 10 million dollars.

Fiddleford squinted at the cheque, before subtly tapping a button on his glasses, zooming in on the fine print.

Fidds locked eyes with his husband and shook his head.

"My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!" Stanley played along.

"We're rich! I'm gonna get a butler!" Dipper grinned.

"I'm gonna buy a talking horse!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Just sign here for the money," the man said, handing Stan a contract.

"You bet!" Stan 'signed' the contract. Fiddleford had to hold back a snicker.

And - as the pair suspected - Gideon burst through the cheque cackling.

"Ha! Stanford, you fool! You jus' signed over the Mystery Shack t' widdle ol' me!" Gideon started humming and dancing as the women and cameraman left the building.

Mabel and Dipper gasped.

Stan just cleared his throat. "Uh, might wanna... take another look there."

Gideon read aloud from the contract. "'The shack is nearby signed over to... SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN'?!"

The couple burst into laughter.

"How dare you?!" Gideon yelled, ripping the contract in two. "I am not a threat to be taken lightly!"

He lifted up his arms.

"Eh. Eh. Come 'ere, hon, I need yer arms," he said to the fake cheque giver. The man lifted him up without a question.

Fiddleford couldn't help but snicker.

"I'll get you, Stanford Pines! I'll get you all!"

The man carried him out of the Shack and the Pines Family blinked.