Sing You Pretty Sounds

Chapter 1 - I Feel My Soul Start Leaving

Tyler PoV

It was Sunday. I hate Sunday's, and to make things worse I had woken up with the worlds worst headache.
'Ugh' I groaned as I rolled over in my bed to grab my phone. It was 6:21am. Why am I awake this early?
And then memories of last night came flooding back to me. I had gotten drunk, and I had also taken way more of my medication than I should have then I cried myself to sleep. You'd think that I'd be used to it by now since this was becoming routine for me.

I willed sleep to take me once again but it refused so I just stared at my bedroom ceiling in silence thinking about how I wished I could be dead already.
Don't get me wrong, i've attempted suicide multiple times however none of those times had been successful. I remember back when my parents used to care, they would find me on the bathroom floor with blood stained wrists or an empty bottle of pills and rush me to the hospital so that the doctors could fix me. But they couldn't. Nobody could ever fix me.

I've never felt as though I belonged anywhere. I didn't fit in with the stereotypes back in high school and because of that I was bullied for being 'the weird kid'. I didn't mind though, in fact I kind of liked being the weird kid.
Now I'm 23 years old and I'm still the same weird kid I've always been, only with a little more facial hair and a little less hope.

My parents don't care anymore, by the way. They stopped caring a long time ago. Maybe it was after my fourth attempt to end my own life. I guess they were tired, believe me I was too. So when they stopped caring and told me that I needed to move out, I felt numb. Of course I was a little upset, I mean they practically disowned me and we haven't spoken in about two years. But I got my own place, a small crappy apartment in my hometown of Ohio which consisted of a tiny kitchen within a bedroom and a small bathroom, actually not too far from my parents and now I'm here all alone. I'm not going to lie, it kind of sucks spending every day alone, especially the holidays. I even considered finding a roommate but then the voice inside my head tells me

'why the hell would anyone want to live with someone like you?'

Long story short, I hated myself. I had nothing and no one left to live for, but sometimes it felt like there was someone out there who could potentially care about me,

'Don't be so stupid Tyler'.