Forbidden Fruit (gxg)

Part 33

"So, it sounds like you've dealt with a great deal of trauma from your childhood."

"You could say that again."

I was at my second session with Tara, and I dove more into my childhood with her.

My first session with her was more of an intake, not as much as discussing deep-rooted trauma.

I was nervous for my first session, extremely nervous. Tara, however, made me feel very comfortable. She asked the questions, and I gave her answers.

Today, however, I told her more about my dad, my mom, and his abusive behaviors.

"Have you ever seen a therapist before?" Tara asked me as we sat in her office. I sat on a cozy gray couch, and she sat on a chair across from me

"I tried to see one in college once, at the student services center. But I hate talking about my problems. I'm surprised I've opened up to you as much as I have."

"What made you stop going?"

"I found that talking about my issues made me feel worse. It brought them to light more, and I couldn't handle that. I also felt like a burden talking about my problems to someone else."

"Why did you feel like you were being a burden? That's what student services are there for."

I shrugged, "It probably also stems from my childhood. I was told multiple times, by both parents, that I was nothing but a burden. My dad when he was drunk, and my mom a few times when she was frustrated."

I then continued, "I was feeling that way with Kori when I started getting like this. Like I was nothing but a burden to her."

"Did she do anything to make you feel that way?"

"Never. She's...great. Kori is wonderful," I said, feeling a lump form in my throat.

"You miss her, don't you?"

I nodded, "It's been 11 days since we've spoken, and I've hated every second of it. I understand why she went no contact with me. But I really don't like it."

I honestly had no clue how I was going each day without talking to Kori. I had started the Wellbutrin, and I did think it was starting to take the edge off of my depression symptoms, at least a little bit. But not talking to Kori each day was rough to say the least. She was on my mind every waking moment. Every time I got a text, I hoped it was her.

But it wasn't.

When it had been exactly 2 weeks since we had spoken, Grace texted me at around 6 PM that day. I had spoken to Grace somewhat since I was fired. She would text me sometimes, and I would respond. Even though I really wasn't in the mood to.

Grace's text simply asked me: Did you and Kori break up?

I texted her back: Hey. Why do you ask?

She said: I saw her and Lisa grabbing coffee today. They were sitting together. I thought it was weird. Kori has also seemed off these past couple of weeks.

Right when I read the message, my blood ran cold.

Kori was getting coffee with Lisa? Of all people??

I had been sitting in my bed, but now I was pacing around my room.

What. The. Fuck.

At that point, I didn't even care. I found myself not even responding to Grace, but instead calling Kori.

She answered on the second ring, "Ashley...is everything okay?"

Just hearing Kori's voice again tugged at my heartstrings, but I had to focus on why I was calling.