My Guardian

Long Road to Come

Unedited

Dean's Point of View

"I'm just tired, Sammy," I drag out, running a hand down my face. He was driving, yet not letting me get a bit of shut eye. With a sigh he says, "Alright."

We were heading out for another case, but I didn't mind. Anything to keep my mind off of her.

I lean forward and flick the radio on, flipping through several stations. When I realized nothing good was on, I leaned forward to find my box of cassettes, but come up empty handed. "Dammit," I say, realizing that I left it in the garage when I was working on the car. I flip through the stations again, finally landing on a random one.

"Never grow old, it's evergreen. And, baby, your smile is forever in my mind and memory. I'm thinking about how people fall in love in mysterious ways," the radio sings out and I fall against the seat in a slump. Damn music. It's supposed to make me forget about her, not remember every detail.

This is why rock is better.

A grumble comes from deep in my throat as I close my eyes. Maybe it would be easier if she wasn't so pretty. No, that's not it. Even if I am one for looks, Carmen was in no way just a hot blonde chick.

She was thoughtful. She was an amazing artist. Carmen had a lust for old cars and great music, and I was actually surprised at how much we had in common. I was a bit older than her, but it was okay. She was mature for her age, even with just being right out of high school. I guess you have to be though, considering you lose everything you have.

I saw her points. I knew why she left. She didn't deserve this life; she could be better. I mean hell, she'd be the best damn sketch artist there ever was. She could meet a guy, have a family.

Not that I'd be happy about it. I mean, it hurts just trying to picture it.

But it'd be something that she probably couldn't have with me. I mean, it's hard to raise a kid when you know what's out there. Screw that, it's hard to live when you know what's out there. Which, I mean, is why she did it.

I just miss her so much. It was selfish, I shouldn't have tried to make her stay. Maybe then we could have made the best of it; I could have said goodbye.

A few hours later we were in some motel, like normal. Sam went out for food and just left me alone in the room, only a bottle of whiskey to accompany me.

"Hello, Dean," a familiar voice says from behind me. I jump and spill my freshly poured drink. "Dammit Cas!" I exclaim, desperately wiping away the liquid from my pants.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Cas says, looking confused. "Well of course not. I bet ya didn't mean to make it look like I pissed myself either!" I growl, digging through my bag for another pair of jeans.

"You seem tense, Dean," he continues from behind me. I turn around and sigh deeply. I don't say anything but run a hand over my face. "Why are you here, man?" I ask.

"You asked me to give you frequent updates on Carmen," he replies.

"Oh," I say, slumping onto the bed. "Yeah, go ahead."

"She accepted two job offers this morning."

"Two?" I ask. Did she not take money with her? She could have took my cash. I wouldn't have cared as long as she was okay.

"I believe one she doesn't get paid for. An internship, I believe? Something to do with her professor and a friend of his," Cas states. She's getting internships from her professor? What the hell? I swear if he touches her..

I stand up and walk around the room. Cas doesn't notice but continues to talk. "The other job was as a bartender."

"What?" I couldn't help but yell. "A bartender? What the hell is she thinking!"

"It seems to be a nice place. There are hardly ever any troubles, Dean," he says.

"Hardly?" I scoff. Stupid men with there stupid hands. I know how they look at the blondes in the shorts. I've been that guy before!

"God, man. I have to find her."