Suicidal Tendencies-Jalex

3.

I'm supposed to be meeting my roommate officially today. I heard him come in to our room once it was curfew but I pretended to be asleep. Honestly I was nervous to meet him. What if he was just as crazy as the guy talking to the old lady who wasn't there? Or he was harmful or rude? I don't know how I'd be able to last a week here if I couldn't even handle my roommate. When I woke up he was already up and out of bed. It looked like no one had even slept in his bed the night before. Maybe he was OCD? No, he had clothes lying on top of his dresser and his CDs weren't organized, plus the nurse said he had TS. I wonder what that stands for. I walked to the cafeteria which the whole floor shared. It wasn't too big and the food was surprisingly decent. I sat down by myself at first not really knowing how to interact with any of these people. As I was trying to keep my food down and not throw up because of my nerves someone sat across from me. "Hey, I'm jack!" the boy said. He looked about my age and he was kinda cute honestly. "H-hey I'm Al-lex." I stuttered out. he mumbled something under his breath then pinched his arm. When I actually took the time to look at him I could see all the little bruises dotting his arms. I was alarmed, why would someone pinch themselves like that? "Are you the new boy in my room?" he questioned not even bothered by the bruise he just left on his skin. Instead he just continued to eat his mashed potatoes and burritos. "I-I think so?" I answered not really knowing if I was or not but assuming I was. How many other new boys are here today? Probably none besides me. "Oh! Jack, it seems like you've already met your new roommate for the week at least." The nurse, Alyssa, said coming up to us. She was a very bouncy person, full of energy and fun. She made me anxious with all the energy she had. I did my best to avoid being too close to her or I knew id be sick or have an anxiety attack. Jack mumbled something under his breath again then sighed as his hand automatically went to his arm and pinched it. I didn't mean to but I guess I had a concerned or confused facial expression because next thing I know Jack's telling me what TS stands for. Tourette's Syndrome. I'd heard about it but I'd only ever seen it on tv once or twice. Apparently it's like having a bad tic. He happens to have one of the rarest forms. Echolalia along side with a mobility one which was the pinching. Echolalia basically meant he repeated at least the last sentence someone around him said. He even sometimes repeated himself if he was anxious or scared. Jack looked kind of nervous after he was finished explaining his disorder. "It's cool if you don't want to be my roommate. It's annoying I know. It's annoying I know." he squinted his eyes then pinched his arm. From the fact that he repeated his last sentence I could tell he was nervous and I didn't want this unique boy to feel bad about something he couldn't control. I knew how hard it was to control what your body does or what your mind thinks, I couldn't fathom what having an uncontrollable twitch or tic would be like. "No it's fine, you seem sweet." I smiled when he mumbled "you seem sweet" under his breath. The mumbling thing I could get used to. But the fact that he pinched himself too just makes me sad. I wanted to be there for the boy, he looked like he could use some positivity in his life. I also knew what it was like to pinch yourself for something you think you did wrong. I knew that if you pulled my sleeve up you'd see little bruises all over my left arm just like Jacks. Maybe we could help each other. I didn't know much about Tourette's Syndrome but I could just look it up later. I could even ask Jack what it was like if he didn't mind. What are the chances you share a room with a freak? he's not a freak. fuck off. Of course he's a freak he repeats every last thing you say. doesn't mean he's a freak just means he has Tourette's Syndrome. I argued with myself. If only that stupid little voice would shut up. It's the reason I almost jumped. The reason I have panic attacks and the reason I don't eat. Even looking at the food in front of me is making my stomach churn. "Alex are you okay?" Jack asked sounding very hesitant. I nodded and pushed my plate away. "If you don't eat they might keep you longer." Jack said just as hesitant. I don't know why he was so shy all of a sudden. He didn't seem shy when he first sat down. But maybe it's because I know what his disorder is now. I mean he still doesn't know mine. Maybe you should tell him idiot. what do you think I was gonna do? "I um was checked in because I almost jumped off a bridge. I supposedly have severe depression and anxiety. I can't always eat especially when I'm nervous or in a new place. I'll just get sick." I was fiddling with my fingers the entire time I told him. What was he going to think? Hopefully he doesn't smother me like my mother, that would just be annoying. But oddly enough I want him to care though. After he mumbled under his breath and pinched his arm he responded, "I'm sorry you feel like that. I doubt you'll have to stay long though as long as they keep an eye on you, you should be out in a week. A lot of the depressed kids only stay for a week since it's easily treatable here. " I nodded. I was glad to know I probably wouldn't have to stay long but on the other hand I wanted to get to know Jack for longer. I feel like even with the Tourette's my parents would still like him better than any of my other friends, hell even I like him better than my other friends and I've only just met him.