My Long Distance Lover - Kylia (BOOK 2)

Chapter 4

Malia's Pov

I sit down in my room and go on my bed, Lacey laying down, her head on my lap. I get my laptop and place it near my knees so I don't hurt her. I go onto the Utah College page to see if I got in and refresh about a million times. Will it say if I got in or not! I'm starting to get really impatient if you can't tell. Lacey starts scrolling on her phone. I'm getting stressed out because Lacey has already been accepted and I just really want to go with her. My legs start to shake. I know it's a bit dumb but I get anxiety over small things and I just can't get rid of it. Sometimes it gets bad, sometimes it's okay. I start to breathe heavily and Lacey notices, sitting up and looking at me.

"Hey, Malia. Listen, there's no need to stress. Just breathe. You'll get in, okay? And if they don't, then they're definitely just stupid for not letting such a bright girl into their college. You'll get in, trust me." She says, holding my hand. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath in. She repeats the instructions and I calm down. I open my eyes and look at her. I smile at her and she smiles back. "You okay now?"

"Yeah. I'll get in. There's nothing to worry about. You're right." I say and nod. She nods and kisses my forehead. I look at her and kiss her deeply. I don't pull her into anything more because we both know that we're not ready for it yet. Yeah, we've been together for a few months, but I just don't want to go too fast with her like I did with everyone else. The time will come, just wait. She pulls away from me and looks at the screen. She looks shocked and just sits there, mouth hung open. She points to the screen and I look at it.

I got in! I actually got in!

"Oh, my god! I got in!" I say, happily. She smiles and holds my hand.

"I know! Congrats babe!" She says and wraps her arms around me. I hold onto her arms and just stare at the screen. She kisses my temple. 

Kylie's Pov

I watch it get dark, walking outside my house. I think about all the presents I got, but if I'm being honest, the only good gift I could get is Ma- um, well...

I light a cigarette and start smoking. I let the smoke out and basically feel like I'm letting all my feelings out. But smoking is obviously not strong enough, I need something more. I have found a love for drugs and alcohol, and I know it's bad but I just can't help it. It just helps me get everything off my mind.

I walk down to the local bar and enter, a frown on my face. I sit down, resting my head on my palms. The waiter polishes the cups and looks at me. He starts making his way to me.

"What's up gloomy?" He asks me, chuckling.

"None of your business. I'm just here to get a drink." I reply blankly. He smiles.

"Okay then, what can I get you?" He asks, his hand lays on the table.

"What's the strongest?" I ask him. He raises and eyebrow and smiles, thinking I'm joking. I look at him, no expression just wonder. His smile drops.

"Um, the everclear 190?" He replies. I nod and put money on the table. He pours me a glass and gives it to me. I take a sip, the bitter taste of fury and melancholy sliding down my throat. The waiter leaves to go to the store room so I take my chance and take the whole bottle. He comes back and sees me but I just run.

I take a sip of the bottle and walk home, limping. Mum's really gonna think, "God what have you done!" I chuckle to myself, drunkly about how much trouble I'm gonna get in from this. Fuck it, I don't care.

I walk to Rita's house for some reason and just knock on the door. I am drunk out of my mind right now. Man, he was not lying about the drink. She looks through the peephole.

"Who is it?" She asks in her British accent. I sit down on the floor outside the door.

"It's, uh, me." I say. I hear her sigh behind the door.

"Oh, Kylie. Are you dru-" She says but I cut her off.

"You know, I came here to tell you that your job has "been" done so, I don't think I need to come here anymore. And also, Fuck you Rita! You did not help me at all! Talking about my feelings made everything worse! I hate you. I hate everything! I hate life! I just want to kill myself!" I say and start kicking the door out of anger, gritting my teeth. I hear her sniffle behind the door.

"Kylie, I know that you're drunk and you don't mean it but I did try to help you. Please don't do this to yourself. It's ruining you already, you may not see it but look at yourself! You're a mess. You being drunk doesn't just affect you, it's affecting your mother because she needs your support just like you need hers. Yes it's your dad, bit that was her husband. They married each other to love each other, not to fight. So give her some damn love! And go get clean please!" She says.

I start hyperventilating from the tears falling down onto my jacket. I get up and start walking to my own house. She does make a point but whatever. She had one job but made me realise how much that not being here was worth. I don't care if she cries or anyone cries because it's too fucking late! When I'm gone, I'm gone. Don't feel bad now because everything and everyone is the fucking reason why. My life's messed up. My ex girlfriend left me. My dad's not here when I need him. My sister had to go away from my family because she was a lesbian! I had to literally stay in the closet for so many years, even when I was with Lacey and that's another reason why we broke up! I don't hate Lacey, I'm just mad I couldn't be with her. I'm so fucking upset with everything and look where it got me. I'm out alone, drunk with no one to hold.