Try (Demi Lovato)

Sixty-Four

Sierra's POV

"Hey, Sierra, wait up!" I heard a voice behind me as I was heading towards the school's doors. I turned around to see Matt rushing to catch up with me. I didn't wait outside the classroom for him like I usually do. I didn't think he'd want me to. "Hey I haven't seen you all day. I mean, I have, but I haven't gotten a chance to even talk to you," he says once he's beside me.

"I'm sorry, Matt," I said.

"For what?"

"You know what I'm talking about. The whole school does, too."

"Right," he said while looking down at the ground. "Well, can we talk about it?" He asked, gently grabbing my hand, stopping us from walking once we got out outside. We were standing right by the doors.

"There's nothing to talk about. I messed up. I lied. I'm really sorry. But it's what I had to do."

"I just-"

"I'm not very good at keeping friends, and I think you know why now. Thanks for trying for a while, though." I turned to walk away, but Matt grabbed my hand.

"Sierra, I'm not mad."

"You aren't now, but you probably will sometime. I'm leaving you and everyone else alone now so that you won't have to deal with me anymore."

"I don't mind, Sierra. I'm here to support you. I don't know about everyone else, but I personally am here for you. Listen, I like you, okay? I think you're cute and smart and talented. You're just perfect to me." I felt myself getting teary eyed at his words. "I don't want to lose what I thought we had."

"I like you, too, Matt. But I have too many problems for us to work out. It's just easier to say goodbye now."

"Please, Sierra-"Matt continued, but I cut him off.

"Demi's waiting on me, I have to go." I quickly turned around and wiped away a few tears. I kept my head low as I headed towards Demi's car. I wiped some more tears away before getting in. We were both silent when she started driving out of the school parking lot. There was still tension from our argument earlier. Before Demi could even notice I was upset, she dropped a box in my lap.

"Can you explain-" She started.

"No, Demi, I can't," I said, my voice weak from the sobs I was trying to hold in.

Her face went from stern to soft. "Oh, honey, I didn't realize how upset you were. I'm sorry." She took the laxatives from my lap and stuck them back in her purse. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Please-"

"Fine. The teachers all feel sorry, I lost all of my friends. One talked to me this morning but just acted like I was the weakest person on earth. The others didn't say a word to me, mostly because I was too scared to talk to them. Matt was the only one who might have truly cared, but I pushed him away. And everyone at school thinks I'm a freak. That was my day. That's what happened." I finally finished my rant, and neither of us said a word the rest of the way. We got to the house, and I went straight up to my room.

"Sierra, we need to talk."

"I just told you everything."

"Not about school. I want to talk about this morning. Our argument."

"I'm sorry for what I said. Can I please go to my room now?" I asked impatiently.

"That's exactly what we need to talk about. That attitude."

"I wouldn't have an attitude if everyone would just leave me alone."

"Stop it, okay? Stop. Come sit on this couch, and we are going to talk." Demi said sternly, pointing to her couch. I instantly felt guilty. I didn't know what I was saying. It just kind of flew out. Now I look like this disrespectful child with no manners. I slowly made my way to the couch and sat by Demi.

"Demi, I-"

"I know you don't mean what you say. Believe me, I know how you feel. You get mad, you rant, then you feel guilty. I'm not mad." A flood of relief washed over me at her words. "But I need you to try and have more self control. We aren't going to get anywhere if you keep pushing me away." I nodded in understanding. "Will you try for me?" I nodded again. "Good." She put one hand on my knee and reached in her purse with the other hand. She pulled out the pills. "How did you get these?"

"Someone at school gave them to me," I answered honestly.

"When?"

"I guess a few days after I started school."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to take them," I admitted. "I won't anymore, though."

"I know you won't because there would be no way you'd have them." I simply nodded. "Now come tell me what I should cook tonight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mom?" I asked as I stood in front of my mother.

"Sierra, I miss you," she said in her loving voice. The voice she had before dad died. She reached out her hand. "Join me, Sierra. I will love you, I promise."

"Mom, you're dead." Just then, my dad walked up and stood by my mother. "Daddy?" I asked.

"Hey, princess," he answered me. I was always his little princess. "I miss my little dancer."

"I miss you, too. I miss both of you."

"Sierra," my mom said, holding out her hand. "I'm sorry for what I did. Forgive me?" I simply nodded. "We'll take care of you."

"How can you?" I asked.

~~~~May be triggering!!!~~~~

I suddenly sat up as I opened my eyes. That felt so real. It's like they were right there. I miss them. I miss them so much. I miss them too much.

They're right. I want to join them. Everybody would be happier.

I went into the main bathroom where I know Demi has some shaving razors. I've heard about people cutting to escape. I can do it. It will happen so quickly. I can go back to Mommy and Daddy.

I found a razor and broke it, not thinking about Demi being upset about that. I grabbed one of the blades.

"Come home to us."

I tried one horizontally, just to see how it felt. It was nothing like I had experienced before. It wasn't such a bad thing. I do another one and watch the blood trickle down my arm. I examined it carefully. I deserved this, right? After all of the people I've hurt, I deserve this. I pressed the blade to my skin again. Again. Again. Again!

"We miss you, Sierra."

"I miss you, too," I whispered. I turned the blade vertical. I could see my vain, just waiting to by sliced from this tiny sharp object in my hand. I don't think about it any longer. It just happened. I sat there as the world got cloudier and cloudier.

"I'm coming home."

Demi's POV

Something jolted me awake, but I had no idea what it was. I looked at my clock. 3:28AM. My throat was dry, so I decided to get some water.

"I'm coming home," I heard from the main bathroom. The light was on and the door was almost all the way shut. I pushed it open.

Oh My God.

So this was a little darker than what I usually do. This is the first thing I have ever written about self harm. It's not too detailed because I didn't want to make it triggering to my readers. I was not planning on this happening, but it did.

I'm sorry if this chapter is crap. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I can't sleep, so I decided to update all of my stories.

Thanks for reading.