20 (not so) Productive Ways To Fix A Broken Heart

Chapter 6 {I hate it here}

Chapter 6
I hate it here

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Step 12: When you get back to HIM pretend you are better than ever

We stand on the beach around the dead ashy fire pit arms around each other
"On this dying fire pit we swear one day to return to party at this beach once more" we all mumble in unison we break apart walking silently back to the cars we're tired, cramped, salty and sunburnt but we're also happy and that's all that matters
"WE LOVE YOU BEACH!" Theo screams at the top of his lungs through cupped hands and I smile as we drive away from the best week of my life, I fall asleep in the car on the home and when I wake up Dylan's range rover is rolling down my street we pile out, and Dylan carries my stuff inside as we walk up the garden path obliviously chatting happily about this week. I froze staring up at the boy that sat head in hands on the front step
"Bradley." I say curtly trying to keep the burning acid out of my tone
"You're outside my house, why?" I give him a tight smile, he frowns staring at me gleaming, tanned and relaxed
"I- I want to talk to you . . . alone" I give him my best smile
"Anything you have to say you can say to me right now"
"I just want- well I- I want a second chance, Cassia for god sakes I loved you- I still do I love you Cassia Reeds and I know I fucked up and I know I don't deserve it but look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me after everything I have done for you tell me you don't love me" He says his voice breaking like my heart, I falter can I really say this? I can I admit I still love him, or can I say I don't? That would be lying; I can't do that can I?
"I can't- say that I'm over-" Dylan steps in front of me roughly pushing me back
"What you've done for her!" he screams whole body shaking in rage I cringe
"Who asked you?" Bradley snapped rudely, and every pure feeling I thought I felt washed away
"No one but I'm involved now!" Dylan's shouts taking one fast punch, his fist connecting solidly with Brads still bruised face, and his nose releases a sickening crunch, Bradley stumbles back falling onto my steps
"What the fuck Cassia can you stop getting your over aggressive boyfriends to punch me in the face" he groaned clutching his nose
"Leave" I say my guards crumbling at the sight of him
"Tell me first" he says through a blocked nose he doesn't sound so confident, though maybe he's not
"Tell you what?" I ask, innocently smiling at him hoping he would just leave
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me" my eyes flit around I look at the aged white villa I grew up in, I look at the trees, the shrubs and the flowers, I look at the small weeds growing through the garden path waiting for my mother to kill them, I look at my car noticing the dirt and that it needs to be washed, I look at my friends with concerned faces and Dylan with a sad look in his eyes, I look at the mail box with-
"Cassia" Bradley interrupts my thoughts and I look at him at his worn Nike high-tops and snug jeans he wears so well at his drop tail white shirt with burgundy sleeves and breast pocket, my eyes skip nervously past his face and up to his sleek yet messy playful boyish hair brown and gorgeous half tamed by NBA snap back perched skilfully on his head, I skipped past his eyes again staring at the pink full lips that lined when he grinned and bite when he was nervous, the lips I used to dream about, but not anymore, I can't lie to him I have to be truthful, but no one ever said it had to be the full truth.
"I don't . . . Need you . . . anymore" I say slowly rolling the words carefully in my mouth before speaking them, trying to find the right ones, he smirks evil and knowing and I frown
"Look me in the Eyes Cassia Mae Reeds and tell me you don't need me" I took a deep breath his voice was intense his hands feel away from his nose, that was covered in dried blood and he held them tensely at his side this simple action betraying his casual posture as he sat on my familiar front steps like he had done so many times before
"Cassia, please" he stands up stepping towards me I shake nervously as he stares me down intensely
"I don't need you . . ." I mumble quietly, he smirks I'm being pathetic and clingy and I know it
"Pardon me what was that?" he holds his hand to his ear mocking me and I scowl, and all my pitiful puppy love feelings fall away, temporarily
"I don't need you Bradley, I don't want you and I don't . . . Love you!" I falter on my words but pick them up quickly
"I don't believe you" he says, I glare at him just for a second before plastering on my best fake smile