Nerd

XX

XX.

IT IS SAFE TO SAY that as the days went on, Amanda seemed to have become even more distant, even after her reassurance that nothing was wrong, there was something that is going on that she wouldn't talk about. I did not doubt in my mind that money troubles had a small part to play in this but there was something even larger going on, something she did not want to let slip. I could preach and ask her to talk to me to tell me what was going on it felt like the more I pressed and hassled, the more closed off she was becoming.

I have noticed that she would force a smile on her face to avoid the questions, or it would be the complete opposite where she would look straight through me like I was completely transparent with her ignoring everything that I would say. I don't know what more I can do at this point. I could choose to ignore her, she would not even notice in the slightest.

One of the days, she came into school still obviously intoxicated from either the night before or currently from the morning. She would not say or answer any of my questions but allowed me to take her home, either way, that same morning she had made it very clear that she wanted to be left alone.

Everything about her had changed in a matter of weeks, emotionally and physically. She no longer looked tired but looked beyond exhausted to the core and became emotionally available. Her eyes would look flat but filled with despondency.

We could be having a conversation then she will trail off and sometimes even end her sentences halfway through and not realise until I coax her into finishing what she was saying, half of the time she would not notice that she did and would forget about what she was talking about.

The weather today would be the perfect metaphor for how she was probably feeling inside her head, it wasn't just raining it was coming down in lashes with no sign of easing up any time soon. I guess it was nice to have something other than snow and now it is going to turn into slush, which was wetter and slippier, I was not looking forward to walking to my car once my shift was over. I only had a few things left to finish up and clean the tables, after that I could call it a day and retire early for the night.

The rest of the evening dragged by while I finished up and clocked out a little before ten, happy when I finally threw myself into the car to get out of the freezing rain, I shrugged off my damp jacked, just wanting to get home to take a nice hot shower and get into bed, only to repeat it all over again tomorrow.

As I pulled out of the parking lot the rain started to come down heavier which made the visibility poor causing me to drive slower, just about making out the taillights on other people's cars as the water distorted the light. My window wipers would not go any quicker if they tried and definitely could not rid the water from the windshield long enough to drive faster than I was.

Going at the speed of a snail, I noticed someone walking in the rain without a coat in just a t-shirt, not realising that it was Amanda until I passed her and glanced in my rearview mirror. I slammed on my breaks to pull over to the other side of the road, narrowingly missing and hitting another car when someone held down their car horn, my body bracing for a head-on collision when they swerved out of the way.

I noticed that she stopped walking after the commotion while I unbuckled my seatbelt and threw myself out of the car, my feet slipping on the wet gravel and slush when I almost fell, my hands grabbing onto my car to steady myself.

"What are you doing, DeCeno?" I called out with a slow jog to close the distance between us as my hand grabbed onto her arm to pull her into me.

She was completely soaked through when I held her against me, feeling how wet her clothes were when she was up against me as we both stood there in the rain. I felt my heart in the pit of my stomach, not understanding why she was walking in the rain, in the winter, in cold weather.