Season to Heal

Her own story

Christmas was in two days. Yesterday was Saturday. Lucy's Dad enlisted their help in slaughtering two pigs and today, they were to slaughter 40 chickens. There were four slaughterers, Lucy included. Of course, Sasha would not be among them.

Lucy, her brother, Mom and Dad worked and worked and worked until their legs burned from the soles of their feet's, up their calves and settled in a nasty simmering even after they sat down. They finally got a lull in the work and took advantage of it by nibbling on the chips Darren brought and the fruit cake Lucy snatched before they went to the farm.

Her Dad had sent Darren home with the first set of chickens so that they would not spoil. Lucy internally cringed at the amount of work that Darren would have to be doing himself.  She could see that he was a bit peeved about it himself  when he asked Lucy why they were "splitting their forces". Then her Dad explained to him that he would not need to come back to the farm but he needed to know how much freezer space they had so they could bring the rest of the chickens home. From boiling the water, go setting up the plucker and the table for final plucking and removing the insides...it was a lot of damn work. And then to package them away when they got home would be another feat in itself.

So splitting the forces would only make sense. Her Dad had sent one of his workers to separate the mother pig in the sty from her eight piglets since they were big enough and weaned already.

Lucy and her Mom were skeptical about how the guy was going to move the mother pig because these men had no gentleness to them. They were all brute force to the point of plain savage. But they were so busy that they had to let him do it.

When they had finally sat down to take a break, that was when they heard it. A loud squeal coming from the sty. Lucy, her Mom and her Dad were sitting in a circle and looked at each other. Then they heard another one. Then another.

They were all exhausted. Lucy's Dad especially. Lucy's Mom suggested they go check on the pig. They had just washed and removed their boots. The mud on the farm today was horrendous. Lucy's Dad pointed this out to them.

Another squeal.

Lucy's Mom said that the mother pig should be able to fight off the male.
Lucy was silent.

A longer, pained squeal now.

Lucy shot to her feet and her Mom did the same. They were going to see what was going on and if they had to castrate the damn male, they would. They held a hammer, nails and her Mom found a large piece of wood she said they would use to block off the male.

Her Dad said that he would stay until Steve, his worker, came back  since he would be back any minute now.

So Lucy and her Mom went to the sty. Lucy felt a stab of panic when she did not see the mother pig and the male one was coming toward her. Then she spotted her in the corner of the sty, breathing hard. Before she knew it, her Mom jumped into the sty, Lucy right behind her. They lined up the wood between the male and female and Lucy began hammering.

While she was hammering, she had bent down to do so. The piglets were grunting, trying to locate their Mom, wo was equally frantic trying to locate them as well. She saw one of the piglets stick it's snout under the door between their rooms and the mother touched it with her own. 

Lucy suddenly felt a cold hard sensation on her back and let out a squeal of her own.

Silence.

Silence, except of course for her mother laughing at her. The bore had put his cold snout on her back, curious as to what she was doing. Lucy raised the hammer without even realizing she did, then put it back down quickly. She bent down again and kept an eye on the male as she did so.

The piglets resumed their grunting and the mother pig, as if sensing that she was now safe, lay on the floor of the sty, still breathing heavily. Lucy began getting frustrated when the damn nail would not go through the wood.

She and her Mom were taking turns hammering, but to no avail. As if straight out of a movie, her Dad appeared and all he needed was the superhero theme music. He jumped right into the sty, took a look at our makeshift door and began hammering his own nails into the wall. He hit them so hard that literal sparks began to fly.

Lucy felt like she was a little kid again. She jumped up and down and said "Yooo! It's sparking! Did you see the sparks?"

Her Dad began smiling, that proud Dad smile and said half laughing "Yes, I see the sparks".

When they were done Lucy looked at her Dad's handy work and marveled. Not only would she and her Mom not have been able to do that, but the mother pig wouldn't have been safe if her Dad had not come.

Because no sooner had they all jumped out of the truly and looked back, the damned bore had his jaw wrapped around the bars of wood trying to remove it. Lucy smirked and turned, but not before she noticed liquid dripping from the bore's penis. 

Lucy understood that animals will be animals. But it did not stop her from being infuriated at the bore. The mother pig had her eight piglets, was drained so physically that you could start to see her bones, and this damned bore, like some men that Lucy knew had been well fed and kept all the time the mother pig was pregnant, had her babies, had to nurse and feed them. Then they ate her food as well as drank milk from her.

To top it off, they had even thrown her down that morning and Lucy saw the poor sow struggle to stand up, her legs actually trembling. Then to be raped by the bore as soon as she was with him was just too much for Lucy to stomach.

Why were males like this? Animals will be animals...but there were men who existed like this. The world was full of them.

Sigh, she had this internal dialogue with herself over and over again and the end result was always the same...

...life would be a hell of a lot simpler if she was a lesbian.

Men disgusted Lucy and as much of a blanket statement as that was, it was too much of a gamble to look for a decent one, herself.

But unlike Ruffy, the mother pig, Lucy had a choice. She had a say in her future and she understood that there were many girls now who could not say the same. Many more who could not say the same in the past generations.

Her sister chose her path...baby, husband, family. The good thing was that her sister was a doctor and did not have to depend on anyone for her financial stability.  As far as Lucy could see, her sister had it made.

As happy as she was for her sister, she did not appreciate her constant jabs at her about "having a boyfriend". Lucy knew her sister was sexually active at her age. Hell, probably before that. So Lucy hated that Sasha expected the same from her. That same promiscuity.

As much as Lucy had entertained the idea of sex on multiple occasions, she did not truly want to do it. And especially not with someone who she did not trust fully and who did not love her.

She understood that the feelings she felt a few weeks ago....those bitter, jealous, resentful feelings were there because she was trying to fit into her society's, YouTube's and her sister's mold for her. But she had her own mold. The mold God had made for her. She was going to fit into that mold.

And just like she could not see herself becoming a doctor almost 2 years ago and was now on the cusp, so now she would trust that God had his own plans for her. And that was a plan she could get on board with.