𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄 || 𝑺𝑬𝑶𝑲𝑺𝑶𝑶

chp12

Joshua’s footsteps felt heavier than ever as he crossed the quad toward Seokmin’s lecture hall, the sunlight doing little to thaw the ice settling in his chest. Seokmin had kissed him goodbye earlier, his smile as bright as ever, but Joshua’s mind wasn’t at ease. He had counted the days—there were only thirteen days left until that day comes.

That day when Seokmin’s light had been extinguished, leaving Joshua in darkness.

Joshua clenched his fists, his nails biting into his palms as he approached the building. His heart was a tumult of emotions: the joy of having Seokmin alive and smiling in front of him, and the crushing dread of knowing how close they were to losing it all.

He couldn’t let it happen. He wouldn’t let it happen.

But the weight of it all—the secrecy, the fear, the urgency—it was too much for one person to bear. And Jeonghan, his childhood friend, was starting to notice.

“hong Jisoo,” Jeonghan called out, his voice sharp but tinged with worry, as he approached from the other side of the courtyard.

Joshua froze mid-step, his heart stuttering with the sound of his real name, He turned, forcing a smile that he knew wouldn’t fool Jeonghan. “Hey, han-ah”

Jeonghan crossed his arms, his piercing gaze locking onto Joshua’s. “Don’t ‘hey’ me. What’s going on with you?”

Joshua tilted his head, feigning confusion. “What do you mean?”

Jeonghan let out an exasperated sigh. “You know what I mean. You’ve been avoiding me, shutting me out. And don’t even try to say you haven’t.”

“I’ve been busy,” Joshua muttered, his eyes darting away.

“Busy?” Jeonghan repeated, his voice rising slightly. “You’ve been so ‘busy’ you can’t even spare a minute to talk to me after class? since the day I returned we haven't even talked properly, Don’t lie to me, shua”

“I’m not lying,” Joshua said, but the words sounded hollow even to his own ears.

Jeonghan stepped closer, his expression softening. “We’ve been friends for years. I know when something’s wrong. Please, just tell me. Is it about Seokmin?, we were good friends, right? The only thing that has changed now is seokmin.”

Joshua flinched at the mention of his boyfriends name, guilt clawing at his throat. “It’s… complicated.”

Jeonghan’s brows furrowed, concern now etched into his features. “What’s complicated? Are you two okay?”

Joshua hesitated, his pulse hammering in his ears. He had kept everything bottled up for so long—too long—and the dam was about to break. But how could he explain the impossible?

“Joshuji,” Jeonghan said softly, placing a hand on his arm. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m your friend.”

Those words were Joshua’s undoing. Tears welled in his eyes as he grabbed Jeonghan’s wrist and pulled him toward a secluded bench under a tree. He sat down heavily, his hands trembling in his lap.

“I need you to believe me,” Joshua said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jeonghan frowned, sitting beside him. “You’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

Joshua took a shaky breath, his hands clenching into fists. “Seokmin… he—he died, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan blinked, confusion flickering across his face. “What? What are you talking about? He’s alive—”

“Not in my timeline,” Joshua interrupted, his voice breaking. “He died. A month from now, he… he killed himself.”

Jeonghan’s jaw dropped, his face going pale. “Josh… what are you saying?”